I have a good life friends that care about me my dad has money and we are doing fine but my mom died when i was six from breast cancer she got it from pregnancy i’m always missing her even though i don’t remember her i sometimes feel its my fault she died, and on top of that i get okay grades but never good enough for my dad i stopped trying which made it worse but im no longer motivated i just don’t care anymore. He yells at me all the time saying words don’t matter but today was the worst i feel broken and numb and just don’t want to do anything just lay under the covers. He calls me stuff like “worthless, stupid, arrogant, *****, immature, selfish, bastard, etc. it go’s on help me to not feel so alone please.
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You are not alone. Verbal abuse will suck the life out of your self worth. Can you talk to someone who is safe and will make him stop abusing you like this?
You did not cause your mothers cancer. Don’t take his abuse to the degree that you are self harming your own mind to turn on you. People like you and I who have been slammed all their lives end up turning on ourselves in kind. Thats when we end up in a battle trying to hold on. An angel on one shoulder – devil on the other. Its torture and the escape hatch can’t open quickly enough when you feel this badly.
When even you give up on you – the part that wants to be perfect so you can stop the hurtful words being thrown at you – or the idea you did something to hurt your mother – when you give up on the part that wants to please everyone and make the pain stop – thats when we want to give up.
You need a break from the pain. I don’t mean permanent as in dying. I mean – support. This is a good place to start because you are writing your story because you KNOW this is not how you should feel in this life.
thank you i just really needed to hear something from anyone just to ease it
Im so relieved to know this. I take it you are a young person. To know a father would say this to you rips me up. I have a 22 yr old son and I cannot imagine him having to feel as you do.
You hang in there okay? I care. I hate to see especially the young people suffer like this. I did and no one would help me. You have a good heart. I can sense it. We need the good guys on our planet. Please stay.
PS my son lives with my ex and he tells me the same exact thing you have. It really really is so wrong. He has done the same. He has lost his vibrance and super funny jokester mannerisms. I live to see that in him. Your mom would be proud of you. I know all about losing drive. My son has. I have. But as an old bat, I want you to know what your dad is saying is untrue and wrong. You are clearly hurting and his words are only adding to your pain, deepening it. You deserve to have help out of this awful pain. Not to to be misunderstood and shoved into it deeper
My mom does that a lot. A LOT. If there was a prize for picking a person apart, she’d win everytime. I wish when I was in highschool that some one ANYONE would have told me this “It doesn’t matter. It really doesn’t. All the bullshit and pressure about highschool friends and boyfriends and parties and parents doesn’t matter.
Hang in there, look around for stuff you like to do, and go do that. I didn’t make good grades to please my parents. I ended up doing it for me.