Last night, someone pointed out all my flaws. She told me about how I’m a burden to others. She gave reasons as to why it would be better if I was gone. She opposed all my life decisions. I know she has no right to tell me I’m living my life incorrectly, but I was taught to respect and listen to the thoughts of my elders.
She persuaded me to believe her. And I did.
I asked her to buy me pills so I could end my selfish activities. Instead, she called me stupid, selfish, and so many other words just because I insisted.
She then proceeded to question why I asked her. I quietly replied,”You’ve given me more than enough reasons why I should be gone. They outweigh the suggestions for why I shouldn’t.”
She held a look of bewilderment for a couple seconds. She poorly defended herself by saying,”You’re putting words in my mouth. You’re being a dumb *****, and you say you’re smart? This is stupid. Just shut up. No one wants to hear you talk.”
That did it. I was totally convinced. I believed her. No one desires to hear my voice. Not a soul would notice if nothing escaped my lips.
I tried to cut a vein on my wrist. I failed to. Instead I ended up with blood all over my body, new cuts on my thighs, a small scar on my neck, and several cuts along the veins of my wrist.
All thanks to my dearest older sister.
Thanks, Jezebel, sweetie. You made me realize my own worthlessness.
9 comments
Oh shit we must have a sibling in common.
I was called a pig last wk because I used the EFF word in response to her vicious attack on me.
I said keep going – thats right. I am crap. Worthless. That all ya got? Tell me since I am such a failure, how do I end it so you can better spend your time being the ***** you are to someone else?
She sounds like the bully my sister is. I think we may be related
I have about several other siblings in which completely reject my form of living life.
And my mother disproves entirely of my personality.
They really don’t understand, do they?
Your sister is a bully, plain and simple. True love is unconditional. True love means loving you because you are you. That’s all. Just because you are you. If strings and conditions are attached – that is not love. Family doesn’t mean anything.
My mother and my sister both hate me. It took a long time to figure out that they truely didn’t love me. Once I finally got it everything made a lot more sense. THe horrible things said and actions against me – were not from someone who loved me.
Your sister’s words and angle change from moment to moment because she just must always be in opposition to you. Try not listening to her words and just looking at her actions. Her goal is to harm you. Like my sister, like my mother. Your sister is cruel. Family can be the most destructive to us because they are in such a close postition and there is this fantasy that your family must love you. Bullshit. It is just not a given.
I’m sorry this happend to you. If it’s possible try to distance yourself from her. People like this are dangerous.
Great post by TisxIxKasa. It seems so often that (when I read about suicides) there are crowds of people who come forward to the TV cameras and their 5 minutes of fame. After the fake “we LOVED her SO much” phase, sometimes the report includes the “she was SO selfish to take her own life” phase.
That’s the part where the truth pops out: that the poor woman was surrounded by some of the most God awful “friends” and “family.” They came out of the woodwork and they’re right in my face. They bled her dry, abused her and now that she’s dead they’re the first people right out in the middle of the street shaking their fists proclaiming 1.) how great they themselves are and 2.) what a worthless piece of crap the decedent is.
Sooner or later you’ll notice that it’s always the people who themselves feel weak, fragile, threatened and worthless that attack others in this way. They don’t have the guts to face their faults or improve themselves. They’re powerless and afraid. All they can do is try to distract themselves from their own self-loathing by tearing down others.
I’ve known a few people in my life who were truly happy and secure, and you can’t even imagine these people attacking anyone. It’s only the trash that sinks to this low, and that’s why you can’t let yourself take them seriously at all.
F-ck the *****. I feel sorryfor her. She has to pour all her bull onto you just so she feels better.She must feel pretty short to need to stand on you to feel tall.
People who aren’t suicidal can’t understand our logic. I’m sure your sister was saying those things in a misguided attempt to get you to shape up. It sounds like she cares about you a lot but just doesn’t understand you. If she didn’t care about you she wouldn’t bother with you at all.
Similarly, you don’t understand her or her methods. Chances are, when you told her you would kill yourself because of all the things she said, she probably felt that you were being manipulative and trying to blame her.
She shouldn’t be so hard on you but at the same time you shouldn’t be so hard on her. You are 2 people who obviously care a lot about each other, despite not uderstanding each other at all
She was arguing with me for taking my father’s money while I know he’s struggling financially.
She wasn’t expressing care for me.
She was defending my father.
@TisxIxKasa – I feel your pain, bro. I live with my evil little sister and she’s a total bully.
Sometimes I feel like I hate her guts.
All she does is yell at me for petty things, so I avoid her as much as possible.
She treats me less than human.
If it’s possible, avoid your verbally abusive sister like the plague.
No one needs to be subjected to that kind of mental torment.
If only some ppl would get their malicious tongues cut out their heads.