down at the bottom again

been awhile havent been here for about a year…tryed counseling and antidepressants shit dousent work dont ever belive that fucking joke its just money for them all you have in this world is yourself everything good goes away everything…nothing is constant and i cant handle that i need a constant someone something anything idk just i cant get thoughts out of my head everyday is living hell everything is a constant reminder of the hellish life ive lived really contimplateing suicide again im not strong enough for this shit anymore all i do id down drugs as a cruthc and it dousent work anymore i just want it to end