[ Pleased to meet all of you! x ]
Obviously, this is a fake name as you can see 🙂 I don’t want my family to find out
that I’m not that ‘happy kid’ they always thought I was.
I’m 15, nearly 16. I live in Italy and I don’t have any friend. I smile and laugh very easily, so my classmates can’t stand me.
They don’t beacuse my laughter annoy them a lot, they say me that I’m stupid and childish because I laugh even at important and serious things.
When I laugh, it’s a nervous laugh. I laugh to hide all the pain that I am suffering in that moment. And laughing makes me feel like for once I’m fine, I’m like them, I’m NORMAL.
But It’s not so.
What they don’t know is that I’m dying inside, I have an eating disorders and I’ve been diagnosed with depression, I cry myself to sleep every night. And I cut myself with razor blades. I don’t cut my wrists, I cut my thighs because it’s easier to hide.
I’ve told recently who used to be my bestfriend that I self-harm. She told me that I’m an attention seeker, a whore, that I don’t deserve a friend like her. Well, I agree.
I’ve decide to write here part of my story beacuse I thought it was a good alternative to self-harm. And I also feel better, I don’t know why :’)
Thank you for reading my post.
I love You
xx
-Abby-
2 comments
In 1988 I sat across from a girl in high school. She was new but I knew her name. I made eye contact with her a couple of times but never talked to her because I was shy and lost. She had only been at the school for a few weeks. During spring break I read a story in the newspaper and recognised her name. She had jumped off a building and died. I turned out she had just moved and her boyfriend had died in a car accident. I wish I wouldve be-friended her. I was to shy and lost though. I think a lot of boys are. I wouldnt be mad at your former best friend, she probably just doesnt understand. There are better ways to deal with our pain than self harm. For starters, writing, right here to people just like you and me. Also I’m sure lots of other ways to cope that we just havent discovered yet. I love you too.
Hi Abby.
Self-harm is simply a way of venting out stress or depresion. By talking(or rather, typing out) your feelings you achieve the same purpose.
In the case of your best friend, it may be that either she truly does not understand you due to your story conflictig from your normal behaviour along with never having encountered such a situation herself.
I cannot pretend to understand all the intricacies of your issues but just remeber that here,at SP, we are willing to listen to you as much as you need to vent out your feelings.