Ha, made you look! 😉
Just an update since my first post a few weeks ago.
I am recovering from a bicycle accident; spinal cord injury; partially paralyzed…)
I’m afraid that i won’t be able to do it. I’m afraid that I will be too afraid to pull
the trigger, or tighten the escape bag and turn on the gas. I am also afraid of surviving and making things worse. I’ve worked real hard, at the rehab hospital they call me the most persistent man ever. No one can say that I haven’t put everything I’ve got into it
Lots of people , inc. my psycjologist, say they’d have given up long before now
and would just sit on the sofa eating cheetos. I couldn’t do that though. I never
give up without a fight. But I can see that the day is coming when the progress stops
or slows to a crawl. The fighting will soon be useless. And I don’t want o spend my life crippled, dependent, warehoused in assisted living somewhere. What’s the point? This isn’t
living, it’s only existing. Even with 3 meds, my arms hands and feet always ache, burn, tingle. I think it would be humane to give people a way out so we don’t have to suffer
when something like this happens. There is nothing ahead of me except increasing weakness, dependence and sickness. I think it’s perfectly rational to want to avoid that.
But I’m afraid I won’t do it.
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
5 comments
It sounds like a lost cause. Even if you recover, your still going to suffer from the infirmities of old age.
Impressive. I don’t think I could do what you’re doing. I’m having much less serious issues that are keeping me from doing much physically. I’m almost ready to pull the plug. Good luck with your rehab. Hope all goes well.
Sorry to hear that bitbucket. I’m also in the process of getting the courage to do the deed. I need the supplies first though.
I wish Jack Kevorkian was still alive haha.
You like cheetos bib. Your beast food.
Even the slightest, most “minor” spine injuries can have catastrophic results, and are far more difficult to live with than anyone without them can ever know.
Mine are slight, and thus “invisible” to most, but they take all i can give, each day, and just keep demanding more. No one appreciates my efforts to endure another day… to try to find anything to distract myself from the pain and predictable failures that lie in wait for me, should i manage to survive long enough to reach them, get through them, knowing i will fail, but trying anyway.
I’ve been considering pursuing a life of “counter-trolling,” or “being a jerk to internet jerks.” Worst case scenario, it doesn’t work, and the world does improve at all from what it is today. OTOH, your words could be left in a place where someone who needs them, could find and read them, and find something of value in some of the ideas that you thankfully endured your own suffering for long enough to discover the right words to say.