She’s not senile; from what I’ve heard from my father and other family members she’s been unreasonable from the start.
With that said…she adopted me at 9 and has taken care of me since. I’m now 22 and finally moving out in a few months.I’m financially dependent on her which is what she uses to manipulate me. She knows that I’m too overwhelmed to go to school full time and keep a job to support myself so she knows that I must tolerate her unreasonableness or be homeless.
For example, my car is at the mechanic and will be for a few days. She doesn’t drive anymore but she has a working car and whenever, in the past, I have asked her to use the car she says “No, you’ll break it.” Then I have to reason with her that her car is old and prone to random problems and that I am not the one to blame. This logic takes about an hour until she finally just throws the keys at me. Or, other times, she’ll simply blame me for things that go wrong with her car: “You drive to fast; you brake too hard; you [insert criticism].” No, grandma, you don’t get your oil changed until your engine starts smoking nor do you take it in for general maintenance–that is why your car breaks down.
But this time she just lied.
I took her keys this morning to go to the market–to buy HER ice cream–and pick up my check from work. I come home and put away the groceries while she’s in the kitchen yet she doesn’t ask me how I even got to the market without a car. I tell her I have a bbq to go to tomorrow, and I rarely go out so it’s kind of a big deal for me, and she just pauses and says “hmm, I wonder how you’ll get there. My car isn’t working right now.” BOLD-FACED LIE, I JUST DROVE THAT SHIT TODAY.
Then she gets pissed when she realizes her keys are missing like 30 mins. later and knocks violently at my door “where are my keys!?!” She then snatches them out of my hand saying “you know I don’t want you using my car!!” Uhh, no I didn’t know that. All I know is that you make excuses as to why I can’t use it. Then she walks off say how she’s so pissed that she can’t talk about anything right now.
Usually I try and be reasonable with her and calm, but I have no energy right now. I figure I’ll talk to her tonight and explain how she makes up excuses and resorts to lying so that I won’t use her car. Then I’m sure she’ll bring up how I ate all the blueberries and that I’m selfish and blah blah. Then I’ll just say, the reason I didn’t ask you is because you are unreasonable and difficult to communicate with. If I’d had asked you would have just lied to me anyways; what’s the point?
“It’s my car and because I said so!” Great. I already feel homeless and abandoned by my parents and then my grandma “rescues” me and treats me life a stranger.
When my family found out I had been taken to the psych ward for suicidal thoughts, NOT ONE PERSON asked why I was suicidal. They all completely avoided the issue and asked if I had to work that day.
Well, now I’m here waiting to see if I’m pregnant with my dead ex-boyfriend’s child. If I’m not, I’ve decided God has no mercy for me and is punishing me for my abortion last year and that there is no reason for me to live. I’ll know next week and times just seems to be snailing by with all of this anticipation…
2 comments
The vast majority of people will think it insensitive to ask why you were suicidal. They might not like the answer that you give. They might relate to the answer that you give. For as much sorrow and empathy they aught to give you, they seem like they are in a sad state themselves. I’m very sorry to hear about your ex. However great it will be to have a child now, it would not be the only reason to continue living. I think your emotions are controlling you atm, as they do to all of us at different times of our life. Obviously life will “get better”, but I would say try to see the rationality in our existence, and try to overcome this high intensity emotional period. I do wish that you have the child that you so desire!
It’s exhausting dealing with people who don’t understand reason and logic, and then act like you’re being combative or argumentative when you try to explain to them the irrationality of their behavior, and why they are wrong about certain things, and even explain to them how you have determined the nature of their wrongness, so that they can then understand how you came to your “conclusions” (which are always subject to new information that may change them).
I’m not trying to personally insult you or anything, but your family sounds kinda stupid. I would reason that you need to be away from people like that, who will endlessly siphon your life-force out of you, causing you to squander yourself on explaining what should be obvious, and hassling with utterly arbitrary obstacles, created by the inability and/or unwillingness of others to critically think.