forever and always..or so i thought part1

new years. past midnight, thats when i met him…Being a normal teenage girl we worry about the perfect outfit, the perfect hair and makeup. To impress that special guy that we dream will be our prince charming and we will be their princess, having your family cheer you on and compliment on everything you do,loving you inconditionally…but this time this wasnt my case…im 18,im 5’11,dark hair brown eyes, not the skinniest person in the world..i have scars on my left arm which are never gonna go away..my mind is filled with thoughts that everyday i pray will stop haunting me. People might call me emo or whatever but i honestly could care less, and its been like this since i can remember, ive had these thoughts for along time. But there was a time when they stopped actually, 2 years ago to be exact when i was 16. Ive never been the kind of girl that looks for guys attention i dont like doin that,but on that night i was on a website just like this one and a boy started taking to me..hey said a simple “hey” and i answered back..’Jonathan’ he said was his name he was 18 years old at the time..we talked for a while and boy did we have things in common! we liked (and no kiddin) exactly everythinggg,we even had the same b-day!..i was surprised. He then asked for my number, i was a bit skeptical so he gave me his instead.the next day i texted him and i noticed he got happy when i did:) we talked all day that day and i found out many things about him,like he was from arizona while i was all the way here in california, he told me about his family and friends and alot of things that i enjoyed listening to. Then he asked the question..”whats ur perfect guy?” and so i answered not missing a single detail..after hearing my response he asked another question “can i be that guy?” i was surprised to be honest..i wasnt expecting that, but i said yes, i mean..what could go wrong right?..honestly i thought we would last little because of the distance between us but he said he didnt care about that, so i stopped caring to and just gave it a shot 🙂 we talked and texted 24/7 for months after we became a couple..he moved closer to me in desert hot springs,but we never met in person..it was hard to be away from him when i was falling in love..falling in love over the phone..falling in love with someone ive never met in my life..during those months all my bad thoughts started disappearing, i was actually happy..everything was falling into piece, life actually had a meaning now! 😀 Then on oct 24 he asked me..”can i go to ur house?” ..i had NEVER been so nervous in my life..he was actually coming! of course i said yes..at 10:30 that night he called me..”im outside ur apartment he said” i breathed in and out calming myself down..then..i opened the door and went outside..