when i went out to finally see him, i stopped halfway,because..there he was at the gate.i could see him and my stomach wouldnt stop doing backflips! he was just standing there, smiling with his hands in his pocket,he motioned me to get closer and so i did. i was infront of him just a few centimeters away..i smiled and he just gave me the quickest hug EVER haha i guess he was nervous too..we started walking around and we went to sit at some benches behind the apartments, we sat down and he just wouldnt stop staring o.O i was blushing like crazyyy, i mean like seriously??? why do u stare?? haha we just talked a lil bit and just awkwardly sitting there and then he tried to ask me something.. i say ‘tried’ because he was having a lott of trouble saying it..it went on like this “umm can i? ive been wanting to do something..umm..do u think we can umm?..” haha and i knew what he meant so i just put my hand behind his head and pulled him towards me and kissed him..you know how in movies fireworks go out when people finally kiss and we are like “omg thats so stupiiidd!” lol but..thats how it felt 🙂 from then on he would hardly leave my house..he practically lived with me and i loved it..he understood me perfectly because we shared the same problems. We talked for endless hours at night and were together all the time..as cheesy as it may sound he was my soulmate..people could notice i was changing,for the better of course and that he was changing as well. i got to meet his family and i love them they are the greatest people 🙂 even tho there was still problems at my home with my family i could care less..i was in la la land! 🙂 then one day he made a proposal..he wanted to marry me! i was so shocked and excited and happy and i dont even know what else haha and i said yes!!! we had plans of getting married now, having kids3 to be exact we had their names picked out too lol) even planned on getting a blue nose pitbull..my fairytale story was coming true :Dbut i guess something had to bring me back to reality…on march 3 2013 i couldnt get a hold of him..called many times, texted endlessly but nothing…i was worried…march 4 8pm i received a phone call…he and his friend had been in a car accident..side crash hitting his passenger seat..he and his friend had both died on impact…he and his friend had passed away..you could say i lost it that night..i had never felt so much hate,anger,pain,sadness,confusion in all my life..in just a blink of an eye i lost everything, the only person that mattered.. i couldnt believe it, i wouldnt believe it..how could this happen??my baby was gone..i was completely alone again..but this time it was a million times worse…
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Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry… So much respect for u to have put this on here x
you know. When one hears or reads stories like this, one feels completely powerless, speechless and completely down. It is a devasting blow. I am very sorry. These things do leave a scar forever. Depending on the person, as time passes, the tragedy can be parked, but never forgotten, and it becomes part of what you are. In a way, he has never gone. He is and will be part of you forever. It will be part of your sensitivity and on how things affect you and on how you choose your friends and on how you view the world and what is important.
In my lifetime I have heard and learned about different kinds of tragedies, until I hear so many that the joy for life is gone and one just keeps going. It does not happen to anybody, only to some, but there are some people who have wonderful lives always and never go through problems or dramas.
Now you will have weeks or months of adaptations to it, and the acute pain now will evolved into a dull pain, a memory mix of love and miss. Eventually there will be a good person you will meet and your life will be a mix of happiness and memories at the same time.
hugs
O