I’ve never felt this suicidal before

Hey there, I can see that life feels tough for you right now. I also get the sense that you feel that very few people understand you. But things can and do change. With help and support you will begin to see things differently.

Your counsellor sounds like a very caring person, and someone you can trust. She is offering you support, which is great, but she is not the only person who can help. Can I suggest that you think about who else you can tell that you are thinking about suicide? Other people you can trust, and professional help also. I believe that you need more help form professionals who know about the effects of an eating disorder, and perhaps depression. These two illnesses can have a significant effect on your thoughts and feelings. They can also cause you to have thoughts of suicide.

I cannot comment on the relationship with your folks, but it appears that they find it difficult to comprehend that their child can be so unhappy. May I suggest that they also need some help to understand you.

Posting these messages tells me that you want to live, and I am pleased that you are reaching out for help in this way. But please, please talk to your general practitioner or counsellor and ask for more practical help. It will take time for you to feel better, but you will do with this help.

Take care, and stay safe.