I am on the edge. Trying to determine whether or not it’s time for me to die. I just want the curse to be lifted. I want to be set free. Happy again.
But what if dying is not as wonderful as it seems?
I don’t necessarily want to kill myself. But i think most of us on this site have contemplated it at least once before.
I recently made the decision not to eat any more. My stomach is too large. My thighs are too bulky. My arms are too fat. i hate being ugly. it sucks.
“Suicide is never the answer.” yeah, okay, i get that. But people who say that don’t understand what it’s like to cry every night. to push the blade a little deeper each time. to wonder what it’s like to be normal. to want friends. to want someone to listen. to attempt to kill yourself.  to be bullied and beaten. they just don’t get it.
4 comments
I get it. Our problems seem the same, but you have to stay strong. I know, easier said than done, but don’t let life win. You are NOT alone. This entire website is about people who feel exactly how you do. Yeah we all may have different issues, but we are on this website looking for someone to listen; to find someone to save us. Your life is just as important as anyone else’s. Stay strong.
We can all relate with your feelings. You said you were happy once, you could be happy again.
I wish “you have to be thin to be beautiful” wasn’t pushed down our throats in all the media and shops. Its such a joke.
I hope you can see how beautiful you are one day, not what someone else thinks of you, or your family or friends or bf. You have to see how beautiful you are. Your mind is the only one that can really hurt you.
Not sure what I am trying to say haha. Great post. Stay strong. chin up petal.
🙂
honestly, i don’t know how much of what i say really means to you but i think it’s important to tell you what i think since you’ve shared something important to me. the fact that you have problems is what makes life a life and i can’t ever say that whatever is happening will be worse or just as bad as it is for many other people, but i think the most important thing to do in life is to love oneself and only then will you be able to allow and translate this feeling towards others. i myself have been through a few loads of things, but slowly and strong have i managed to feel better.
looks aren’t everything and neither are people… for once think about the world being yourself… it’s ok to be alone and be repressed because it’s natural, but don’t allow other people to make you who you are. i like to spend my time searching for things that make me happy ( food, shops, artists, music, and so on…) but only and ONLY to satisfy myself, because that’s what helps … yep You Have To Be a Little Bit Selfish, but only for a good cause. life will only get better if YOU manage to help yourself feel better, the rest is easy because once you feel fine… that’s when you find the purpose of life and understand that everything happens for a reason and along the way you always find out about a lot of things that will help you in the future, you might even find people who have the same problem and so on… all of thess things somehow collide and become an object worth living for (everything mixed): THE GOOD & THE BAD …. lo Life
just trying to help but what helped me lose weight was not starvation but low carb and high protein. avoid sugar at all costs. and jog. i lost 50 lbs in one month 6 years ago and only gained back 10 lbs.