I’ve been so close lately. I think about it constantly but I would never do it. I just stare at the pill bottle and wonder how I don’t have the guts to do it. I just don’t understand anything anymore. I am so confused and I don’t think I am getting the help that I need in daily therapy. I go to a treatment program and now they want to send me to an eating disorder facility. I don’t know what I need anymore all I know is that I can’t keep going on like this in agony. But I do have something to look forward to.. Tomorrows prom!!!! I am so excited if it wasn’t for prom I don’t know what I would look forward to. At least I have that And my boyfriend to look forward to.
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I understand. Some days I feel like that is my only option. No matter what anyone else tells me about how I make a difference or I am needed in this world, their words feel hallow and repetitive. I don’t want the words, I want to FEEL it, I want to know there is a reason for me to be here. The prom is something to look forward to until tomorrow. The next day you can find something to look forward to the following day. As long as I have a short term goal that helps me get through that day, I know I can make it. Because in the end, I can’t even take it a day at a time, I sometimes have to take it one breath at a time. Here’s to taking another breath together. Enjoy your prom, make memories that will help you for the next day. π And remember, me, and others like me are always here to lend an ear, shoulder, and keyboard…