But who’s gonna listen? You? You, the one who comes up to me with a sickly sweet voice saying “What’s wrong?”, and when I tell you, all you have to say is “You need some help, go talk to someone!” before walking the fuck away. That’s the sort of shit that makes people like me NOT talk, you inconsiderate son of a *****.
Everyday, every night, I’m looking. Looking all around me, at my Facebook account, at my Skype, at my phone contacts book, at my god damn life. And always wondering, “Who’s ever gonna listen to me?”.
No-one, that’s who. And the ironic thing is that it’s LONELINESS that’s causing these things inside of me. The fact that no-one listens, nobody cares, nobody bothers to understand or know me. No-one in my life so far has come to sit down and listen. All they come and say is “You need some help, man. You’re weird!”. Well, fuck you very much, go live your perfect ass life with all the money and the parents that give a shit and want to help you out, and all your “friends” that you go hang out with. Just fuck off. You don’t know me, and you never WILL know me.
How do I know? You don’t even fucking try.
Not even my parents try. Even from them, all I hear is “What’s wrong with you? It’s like I’m living with a PIG, the way your living in this house!”, or, “You are a sorry piece of fat fuck, and I don’t know what’s gonna happen in your life!”. Well, thanks for bringing me into this world, because it was YOU who wanted a family. You ever stop and think about how it might be for the kid? Having to go through all the shit in life (and you KNOW what shitty things life has in store for a person), having to always live in fear, having to LIVE AT ALL. And now you come to me like I brought all this shit upon myself. Well it was YOU who decided to move the entire fucking family to a place where your kid would be a social outcast, it was YOU who decided to spend so little time with your kid when he needed you. It was YOU who decided to give him everything he needs except you being there emotionally.
Now, I’m alone. Completely and utterly alone. And don’t you try to come in through the door and complain about how it’s always locked tight without anyone being allowed in. You’re the one who locked it.
You’re my parents and you don’t know me? Cool. That’s how it’s always been, that’s how it always will be. Don’t try to change anything now.