What if this is true

I feel similar to Leeeza. I see beauty in the world, in the natural world mostly, and people who are more sensitive to others. I mean people who care. But most of the stuff on tv, the amount of cruelty, the stomping about way so many people are (my family) makes me ill, physically and mentally. If I was just let be I know I would have been fine. (I was fine. In pictures of me age 3 i am laughing. By age 4or5 there is a sadness in my eyes. My smiles look nervous. A little less free. A little more like an animal in a cage.

I seem different from my sister, brother, mother, father. Even my blood type is different from every family member. I look different, I think different. I imagine the worst of the world being vacuumed away, and then maybe it would be okay. I’ve wondered if I was put on the wrong planet, family. I hoped I was adopted but it seems I wasn’t.

Mad dogs would get run out of a pack so the others can function and survive. But in our world, mad dogs get to the top. It’s all upside down. Think about this, we need to be sensitive to others in nature to survive. But those of us here on this site seem to be the sensitive ones. We are the ones on the suicide site. Not the mad dogs. They are …well somewhere else and not thinking of suicide. I think we feel like the animals in the cages at the zoo, who no longer have freedom. They pace, they hurt them selves, they chew at their own bodies, they are depressed. Because their world was made very small. They are not on the open fields, or in the forest with all the sounds and feelings there where their minds would be free.

That’s my ramblings at 5 am.