what is wrong..

people want to act like there all big and bad but really in the inside there small and little and and i cant wait i iam not scared i am putting my self oout there i want to scream and i want to cry and let my anger and sadness out why i want to yell and wht did i do for this i owant to bleed because in reality ill be bleeding out what i feel but i dont want to let my love down he is the most important thing to me i hope hes not using me when i cut myself on my thighs he kissed them and held on to me and told me to NEVER do that he tells me he loves me and i belive him i hope hes diffrent and i cant keep my mom out of my had she is ia DEABBEAT mom and i dont think i can handle her when i was getting abused i would ask myself can my mom change herself and be a mom for me i would pleade in my head please mom come back mommmm now i wish ………….