I almost died today

I was ready to die today. I’ve been afraid of dying by stabbing myself or my organs, due to having severe abodyemigphobia. But my house is fairly tall, I could jump, I could at least break something if I didn’t die. I’ve been wanting to commit suicide for a while now, I’m a worthless human being, who would care? I’ve even posted death threats and not one person cared. So I was slowly opening my window, thinking that I was finally going to be free, that this was the right thing to do. But I heard my mom come in, and remembered how disappointed my mom would be in me if I died. I didn’t want to die a failure, I realized. I’m pretty sure this will happen again sometime eventually, but might as well tell my story now if someone on here might care.