So I’ve been alive for sixteen short years, some say its barely long enough to think I know what pain is. But you see, I do know what it is. Because pain is the descent of hate; which I am very familiar with. I don’t have the hardest life, but it is not easy. I’m still growing up, in a family who doesn’t like me; a town who knows my name. But for all the wrong reasons, I’ve been pushed around all my life, put down; and kicked while I was on the ground. I started cutting in fifth grade, came out to some friends in seventh, and was a runaway my junior year. Â You see right now I have a wonderful girlfriend who lives 1,713 miles away from me. I Skype, FaceTime, or call her every night. But what she doesn’t know is that no matter how happy she makes me I wake up every morning; wishing I didn’t. I don’t want to make it to adult hood, I don’t even want to make it one more day. She pushes me to be so much better, and I love it. But every time I lie and tell her I’m okay; it just makes me want to die even more.. What am I supposed to do..?
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If you really care for her, just be up front and honest and tell her how you are really feeling. Maybe she is the key to you healing and getting better. You never know. Let her listen to you, she can comfort you and pull you through. I was in a long distance relationship for a while and I was feeling like I didn’t want to exist anymore and I don’t know how you are feeing, but I felt scared to tell him that I was suffering from depression. I did end up telling him and he was there for me the whole way through. We now live together and I am still working through each day, but he is here for me.
If your girlfriend is really wonderful and understanding and trustful as i understand in what you’re saying is, tell her. sure, it may be hard, but you have to tell someone. if u trust her enough, go ahead. if she doesn’t understand, she wasn’t the one. but if she does, then hold on to her. if she makes u happy, talk to her as much as u need, im sure she wont mind if she thinks the same things for you as you do to her. Just trust her. Because in a relationship, there HAS to be trust. im not telling u to do it right now, take ur time, but u will have to tell her sooner or later. i would prefer the sooner but if u want the later, thats ok. Suicide… doesnt end the chances of life getting worse, it eliminates of it EVER getting better. Everyone wants happines, n no one wants pain but u cant make a rainbow without a lil rain. You were given this life because you are strong enough to live it. You just gotta keep strong, even if u wanna finish the fight. You are a fighter. So keep fighting until the end, ok? Im proud of u that u made it this far, so dont make the mistake of losing this battle now after everything u’ve been through, because u’ve just proven that ur stronger than that.
that is a complicated situation. i for one believe that there is no age limit on pain, we all know what it is. we just dont know when we know what it is. i relatively knew pain when i was rather young, and onto the next issue. if she loves you the way you think she does and if you truly love her honest is a by product of that. i know its scary and frightful to come out with an issue as big as self harm and suicide, but if she is really in it for you that shouldn’t scare her away. and also she might surprise you, perhaps she has had similar issue are still going through issues or has experience on the matter. you never know what can happen until you take that leap of faith. and if you to are really in love, she will stick by you through thick and thin, and the same is expected out of you. and really if she were to find out about it latter second hand, she would be hurt that you didn’t put enough trust or stock in her to tell her yourself. so all in all come out about it,its her right to know and personally to me its nothing to be ashamed of, we all have our coping mechanism and ways of handling things. at least your not hurting others.