So I’m nearly 18 and I can’t really remember the last time that I was actually happy. I have a few friends but they don’t understand why I feel the way that I do. I want to give up but I everytime I’m about to I remember what my mum said when I was little; that people who give up are pathetic. I don’t want to leave knowing that that’s what my mum would think of me. I don’t know why I care what she would think anyway she wants me gone, they all do. My mum has told me before that she regrets having me, she wishes I was never born. As for my brother he straight out told me that I’d be doing everyone a favour if I just went ahead and killed myself. I don’t know what to do anymore, I just need someone I can talk to who would understand.
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Google “toxic family” and/or “dysfunctional family,” ’cause that’s what you got. You’re in the right place there are tons of people here who have families that act hateful. The ROLES in dysfunctional families are a place to begin, it only takes 15 minutes to read the role descriptions.
Yeah you’ll learn to think less about your family. If they keep driving you crazy (which they probably will) then you’ll need to distract yourself. The Google search will list videos, support groups, articles jokes cartoons standup comedians and all kinds of stuff. Shitty families are everywhere. If you’re stuck in one then you might as well read some of the bazillions of studies and how others are coping.
Dwelling on those that abuse us in isolation is horrible. Thanks for sharing a part of your story GivenUp and welcome aboard.
The first thing that you can do is tell yourself the opposite of whatever negative thing your family is telling you. Aloud if you have to. I know it sounds corny, but trust me it works. I’ve been there, and unfortunately there is no one easy fix. Is there anyone that you can talk to? I mean like trained to help you. It can be hard and uncomfortable to have that first conversation, but it gets easier. Start with someone like a school counselor and then try to go from there. (FYI: you can’t disclose self harm information to a counselor until you turn 18, because they are legally required to inform your parents.)
It’s not easy, but it is possible to get away from it. You are already almost 18, and that’s a huge part. The journey out, away, and immediately after isn’t an easy one, but it’s possible to make. Believe me, I’ve done it, and the last stretch is long, but it’s doable. Just concentrate on one day at a time. You are close enough to moving on in life, and by breaking it down you’ll find it easier to get through the last leg of this “marathon”.
Remember, stress, anxiety, depression,and everything that go with them are NOT signs of weakness. They are signs of having to be strong for far, far to long. Not everyone can endure it, and you have already proved that you are stronger than most.
Thank you both for the advice.
No i don’t have anyone to talk to, my school doesn’t have a couselor and I can’t quite bring myself to go see anyone else.