Am I weird?

So the other day I was thinking about hanging it up and calling it quits, my life is complicated. I’m young but I feel like I lived life before if that makes sense? But anyway tied the belt around my neck and put it in a knot twice and was about to hang it up in my room, I tested it to see if it would hold my weight it did, and just as soon as I was about to give it another try my cat wonders in my room and starts purring and I put the belt down and started playing with my cat and didn’t feel as depressed as I was before. It makes me wonder if I’m a weirdo because I’m 19 and not only to mention mixed. It makes me feel like I am because most of the people I came up with are considered hood. I don’t even like the same rap music I once used to like. A few years ago my dad passed of a heart attack in my arms and it left a scar in my heart and taken a huge toll on my family too. It just felt good to know I was needed or wanted or loved for that moment I guess. My mom says I’m too handsome to not have a girlfriend but honestly I’ve been hurt before by this girl I thought was my all and its hard to trust people I’ve came to realize. Maybe I am weird?