I recently moved into my dorm room, and I wasn’t given a roommate who actually planned to move into the room so I’ve got a room to myself. Many people have said that it’s great that I have the room to myself but in complete honesty it sucks. Everyone has someone to hang out with because they have a roommate and here I sit all alone. I don’t know where the girls on the floor went but they aren’t here and my depression is setting in. I miss my friends and I miss my sister and her son and her boy friend, I miss just […]
Tag:
Weirdo
Dear, “Friend.”
It hurts.
You’re my friend, or at least I thought you were…
I’m not a toy that you can use.
I have feelings.
You are not here when I need you, you don’t care.
When I cry out for help, you act like you didn’t hear.
You call me a loner, but I’m trying to talk.
But you wont let me… You’re scared of me leaving.
I’m a loner.
I’m a weirdo.
I’m nothing.
I’m a *****.
Oh, It hurts.
Keep calling me names, It will only make me worse.
You say you’re kidding, just playing around.
But look closer at me what […]
So the other day I was thinking about hanging it up and calling it quits, my life is complicated. I’m young but I feel like I lived life before if that makes sense? But anyway tied the belt around my neck and put it in a knot twice and was about to hang it up in my room, I tested it to see if it would hold my weight it did, and just as soon as I was about to give it another try my cat wonders in my room and starts purring and I put the belt down and started playing with my cat […]
If there’s something I could change about myself  I wish I wasn’t soo sensitive and that things wouldn’t get to me. Yesterday at school something someone said got to me and what they said wouldn’t usually bother me. The people at lunch I usually sit with(which is only 20 minutes) kicked me out of the table and said “we don’t really know you and don’t understand why you sit with us considering you’re a sophomore and we’re freshman and you have plenty of friends in school so I don’t see why you sit with us and you don’t really talk” the thing is that isn’t […]
This was originally a much longer post.
Until I saw other people getting responses whilst you cunts ignored ME.
Thanks for proving me right. There’s no one who gives a fucking shit about me here, either.
Fucking cunts.
For as long as I can remember I have thought of suicide, even back in elementary… I had no friends until the 4th grade. Things were okay until i shit my pants in the 5th grade therefore once again becoming an outcast. No friends in high school even though it was a fresh start I was still too awkward to make friends. Even when the thoughts are gone or I think everything is going good, it comes right back. Why cant I shake these thoughts? Im a loser and a weirdo, I have no friends and no one likes me. The only reasons I havent […]
I’ve landed back at my mom’s after yet another bipolar misfortune and It’s just torture to see how happy they are here. I am the weird vampire with  permanently shut curtains in an enclosed chamber that forcibly goes out only when strictly necessary. Still the door is not thick enough to prevent my family’s loud and constant laugher from reaching my ears. I get to hear their phone conversations and how they constantly make plans to meet others, go out to restaurants, country houses, trips and even to have sex. I want to strangle them. They once asked me, would you rather all of us […]
My life has been getting harder and harder. I’m completely fucked up. I’m sadistic.  Corrupted as a child, and now completely twisted inside. I’ve seen too much for a teenager. My family is the exact opposite of your typical white picked fenced happy-go-lucky families. My Dad a bipolar screaming gym head with horrid anger issues. My mother, too physically impaired to even care about anything but going back home to her “Real” family. I have no siblings. I have no friends. It’s hard enough that I’m extremely timid and shy, it upsets me to an extreme to simply look someone in the eye. But also people don’t […]
So lonely but apparently having emotions is wrong is since I am a guy. It’s really just depressing how the world looks at my situation. Basically I’m a wuss for crying even though I have perfectly good reason to. Â Wanting to hug and kiss someone makes me needy although isn’t that one of the key thing man walks the Earth? To find love and acceptance? I was put in a crisis center aka mental hospital for people my age and you would think I would hate being there. If I can tell you this I love being in there. Sure the beds are hard to […]
I’m pretty much as broken and useless as it’s possible to be. I can’t do anything right – not exaggerating, it’s the truth. I’m barely human and don’t really do the things that normal humans do or feel the way normal humans feel. When I’m hurt or frustrated I get angry – but real people don’t feel anger, don’t express those things. Real people are happy most of the time, not unhappy or angry most of the time. I’m just wrong. Broken. Unfit for human consumption. God I wish my mother had aborted me. What is the point of me? There is none. The worst […]
Everyone at school hates me beacuse of my scars, because im a lesbian, because im different, cause i smoke, drink and do drugs. Im the neighbourhood weirdo and everyones afraid to talk to me. Im all alone. Ive been cutting for 5 years now and still found no escape. Ive been out for 2 years (sorta only certain people really know) and i feel that i smoke drink and do drugs as an escape. No one understands what im going through. So the whole point of this is to find a point. If i have no freinds, no girlfriend, no life, my bodys barely working whats the […]
I still don’t understand why…. Why did you do it? How could you? Why does it seem to affect me so much yet you’re fine? Why does it hurt me so much but sound so stupid to others? Why am I going crazy like this? What triggered it? And why? I don’t know. And it bothers me. Too many fucking questions and absolutely NO answers.. What the fuck am I to do? what the fuck am I to think? Why am I so fucking anxious? I can’t think straight, i’m nervous, shakey, I feel like if I am tweaked the fuck out or something.. Restless, […]
The first time i was 8 years old and my dad had just left me and my mum after battling cancer. Mum wasn’t good, Dad was gone, Nanny and Granada were in Spain, my friends didn’t want to know. What stopped me? My mum caught me and took me to a therapist.
The Second time it was my 9th birthday. It was the last day i ever spook to my dad. He texted me to say that he was gonna have a son and that i was nothing to me. On my birthday. That time my now ex-best friend found me and begged me not to.
The […]