It is summer and i feel like i am the only one not enjoying it. I can’t even express myself properly, everyone seems to be going in right direction, achieving something in their precious lives. I am always holding hands with misery, like i don’t know how to let go. I failed so many things this year. Also everything i was building and everything that was good just fell apart and now it looks like it never existed. I am terribly exhausted and i don’t even feel human anymore, more like just doing things because i am supposed to, because this is expected from me. I don’t belive i have friends or anyone i can share this with, but i guess everyone in here feels this way…so what to do…
i feel like a ghost right now. i am pretending i am ok, that everything is just great and i can’t believe i put such a great show. Honestly i wish i could be alone for a little while cause it seems all the good things are gone. I keep fooling myself that eventually it will get better but it never does, it just never does. I am so jelaous of some people who go through life easy, luck always somewhere behind them, following their steps.
I am so miserably unhappy. this is choking me, this emotion of unsatisfaction of unability to change something, of unability to run away and start over. And i survive. So it continues, helplessly holding my hands on my chest trying to scream, to cry. but nothing. it’s just the choking and i am still alive.
4 comments
Why don’t you tell someone how you feel or why don’t you try doing some other activities.
It might make you feel better.
you’re probably younger than me, but I(and other people) have miserable summers too..
you really shouldn’t look at others and compare yourself to them.. you going to be hurting all your life if you do this to yourself.. but it seems most people do it anyway..
you must have things you love.. some people just forget those things in the midst of their suffering.. try to remember.. and focus on those things..
because the things you love(no matter how small or insignificant they seem to others) are a big part of who you are.. they help you and make you feel good..
(I don’t mean people.. people will always disappoint you, but it’s up to you how much they affect your inner self)
🙂
There is no such thing as an “easy” life. Everyone is going to have the own problems and hardships which they would have encountered or will encounter to test their limits.. even if you think that theirs is so minor and nothing compared to yours because you know it wouldn’t bother you if you were in their position.. then that’s just inconsiderate because what’s important to another may be different to yours.
Many people will feel inadequate in life. That’s just how it is. Someone out there will always be better than you – what matters is if you can bring yourself to a place where you are happy with yourself. You seem like you want to be going in the “right” direction and achieve “something”.. so do it. Use your summer to have a good break and wash away all of these negative thoughts.. and replace them with the motivation to do something about all of this, and don’t stop until you get there – no matter how many obstacles get in your way.
I don’t know your situation, and I’m sorry if I’m being a bit harsh.
If you want isolation for a bit, maybe you could get out of town for a while.. or maybe use your spare time in the evenings to go to the beach or down to a forest – anywhere quiet really to think things through. If you’re fairly fit, I find going for runs moderately effective.. it kind of gives you that feeling that you get when you take a shower after you’ve been crying – but I guess it depends. I also recommend making a dramatic change to help you start fresh.. maybe just spontaneous and “not you” or just jump at the next opportunity you get without thinking if you’re adequate or not.
Best of luck, I hope all goes well. I’m sure there is something great to come of your life.