I hate Life. I hate living. I have lived for so ling and i have yet to find someone that wasn’t “Living the life of kings” Or worshiping the devil with fucing YCMB or whatever those fucking dumbasses call it. Secretly i hunger to find someone like me. Not into those kinds of shit. Anti social, easy to talk to.. Someone i can hug when we both feel sad and want to kill ourselves. Im not sure if this person even exists.. Every girl goes for the alpha these day and not beta fucks like me.. Just today i went to the super marked and i saw exactly what i Was the opposite to.. I cried. I have tried a million times to tell my self tat id never find someone  but  i cant stop trying…  Ive tried a million times to kill myself, drugs, putting a bag over my head. Hanging… Nothing worked… Im on my last legs now.. I know that someone is going to read this and say “Typical Bastard” then just go ahead..  I feel like my soul is just a dark vortex of nothingness. Im dead on the inside now..
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“Typical bastard”
…no I can’t just leave you with that thought!
I was in your position 5 years ago. I wanted the same things you wanted.
Ill try to keep it short and simple:
Stop trying to kill yourself, drink more water, take vitamins..this will help you feel better to start.
Then…keep your head up, even the beta dogs can be self respecting. And not every girl wants the alpha, in fact, many are repulsed and even afraid of the alpha male, like my wife is.
And..don’t be “anti-social”, that doesn’t work if your trying to find some one who is anti-social, it just doesn’t work. But you can find some one similar to yourself, yes.
That person is out there. Don’t give up and keep your head up.
Simple words, simple solutions, hard work and sacrifice.
Don’t settle for less!
Whats the sense anyway. Im surrounded by idiots and clones.. Im sure that a girl like that is one in a million anyway. I have no friends. Vitamins will just make me want to just overdose again. I have nothing to hold my head up for..
Correction.. There are 5 girls for every guy on the planet. Trust me, there was a time when I wasn’t looking hard enough either. And I had to stop feeling sorry for myself. My wife isn’t a clone and neither am I, took hard work to get my life together. Stop hating the world and trying to find love at the same time, it just doesn’t work. 110% sure.
You gotta love the world for what it is. That’s just about it.
There are girls out there throwing themselves at guys left and right.. Can you catch?
Whats the use.. I can accept the fact that there is a 98% sure chance that im just going to die alone. No one want something like me. Im past the point of trying to love the world… The girls that are Throwing them selves are doing it to Alphas anyway. Where im at right now is just to small for any 1% of people like myself..
Alpha males can go to hell. I would love to find my perfect piece of shit man one day and I’m about 100% sure he is not on the continent that I’m on at the moment. Just try not to want what, I think if you sometimes don’t think about the things you need most they’ll come to you when you’re ready.
You don’t even need to take vitamins, just eat fruit! Or things like nuts and veggies. It’s really weird how what you eat can actually make a huge difference in your emotions. Obviously you’ll still get ups and downs, but at least your body will be happier.
I don’t have any friends as well. Just people I talk to on an mmo/moba thing I play. And my cat. My cat is my best and only friend. For now, and I am satisfied with that. I think.
I don’t care if I die alone. As I said on another post, if people were meant to not be alone everyone would’ve had a siamese twin stuck to them. You don’t need to think about dying alone, don’t focus on that! It depresses me as well to think that I am meant to be alone, but it’s not in my control to know if someone will come over my path or when. I just try to not think.
I’ve got fishies in a tank! 😀 they are my friends!
Maybe you should buy a cat or some fish “absolute”?
Or do anything besides what your doing. lol what do you have to lose for trying? When you got nothing, you got nothing to lose.
I had a rabbit once.. It died the second day i had it from sun stroke.. Im not sure i can go through that again..
Its even worse that those girls are going for guys that wont even care about them the right way..
Very good point. Get a pet. It’s been proven that stroking a pet releases serotonin, so it should make you feel good. Usually when I’m feeling blue I find my cat, rub him vigorously and just laugh at him for being a cat. It really fun.
Alpha Beta Young underlings Pups/Juveniles and Omega. Being a beta is a compliment!
Also ferrets are stinky but adorable curious critters.
No its not…
Then you are quite delusional. There are people out there who others see as the lowest wrung of the social ladders…you really don’t get it. A beta is second to only one. Second in command….you could be nothing you could be the punching bag…what I’m trying to say is…at least you’re a beta…some of us aren’t even on the hierarchy pyramid.
For the record. You will never be happy if you think you can only find happiness i someone else. You have to be happy with yourself in order to function in any relationship. If you find her, you wont be truly happy just a facade. A band aid over a gushing wound. Learn to be happy with yourself and you will find someone.
But what do I know right? p:
AtTheEnd is right-
You have to be blind to not see that girls respond to all kinds of guys out there in the world. Your looking at things not even in a general stand point. It’s just too easy to stand there and say you’ll never get a girl cuz of other males that are dominant. That’s just retarded, sorry. You must be in your teens still, idk what to tell you besides that. I feel like I’m wasting my time trying to talk to you, when other people are really trying to fight for their lives on here.
Fuck it…. I cant take it anymore..
-.-
@Absolute. Scroll to the top and read everything again. And when you get here, do it again. And again. And again. AtTheEnd and RealTalk defs know what they’re talking about. Lighten up before your ass starts getting jealous of the shit that’s coming out of your face. Eat some fruit, you fruit!
I guess they are.
Sorry guys.. Im trying to come to terms with this.
Ive never actually talked to someone on this kind of subject.. Thank you.
Ive never actually talked to someone on this kind of subject.. Thank you.
Rant. And moan. And freak out. You’re free to do it here. I hope you get over your bad feelings soon. It’s not a bad thing to admit that what other people are saying is true, or makes you feel better. We’re all here for the same reason. Bringing each other down, lifting each other up.
hi< 33 sorry your so lonely and sad. I agree with finding someone who has some the same problems as you because in march 2011 I ended up on sp googling ways to kill myself and I met a guy who was 40 years old and never had a girl friend had never been on a date , he was like me.. shy and antisocial to. He was so shy to even talk over messenger that he ran away a couple times from me. Now he has sold his home an moved over 600 miles away and we are living together and getting married in march. I do believe its best to find someone with similar problems because we are both so needy even when we are not getin along we still are so needy we touch more than any normal couple who gets along lol. Please don't give up it took me a lot of years to find someone I could be truly happy with and it took my fiancé 40 years to find it to. Also people say others cant make you happy and they cant make you happy every single day but I do believe most of us need someone to love and be loved by and someone we feel a connection to.
I suffer from extreme anxiety. Im afraid of society and im the most anti social person you would ever meet. I am 19, both of my parents are dead and i have no one…. I have tried ending my horrid life many times before and failed.. only to fail again. I have a blood complex and i drink my own on times. I hate seeing other people living “Glamourous lives and kissing and holding each other. It makes me feel demented.. Sorry if im just taking up space in this forum.
lolz oops sorry abt the < 33 I was just talking to my fiancé and its a big habbit making those because we talk so much.
I try to talk about things that ruin my mind to people that don’t know me. It completely takes away that factor of being disappointed by someone you know and the judgement from their side. If you tell everything to someone you don’t know it’s way easier to just walk away and forget about it, at least you got shit out, in a sense. It’s also much easier and comfortable to start on a clean page with random people, you don’t have any preconceptions and can try out different ways you want to discuss the same topic, it reveals things to yourself you never even knew.
I heart the internet.
Noodle, do you have a skype, i really need to talk .
*Not video chat…
Don’t worry kid (you’re a bit older than me haha) but i know how you feel. I really do only you’ve yet to see past it. This is not the end I know because I am AttheEnd (lol pun) but yeah. You are young. Saras example is a good one. A man took fourth years to find someone. Finding a person is not a science or even definitive. Learn to be at least okay with yourself so you can manage a relationship. Being in a relationship when you hate yourself will consist of putting yourself down and making your other half sad and upset because you can’t love yourself and in time she will blame herself or will get fed up.
I’m sorry you are in this hole..and we all do care to see you pull yourself out of it.
Take care
..
Yea I have Skype, gimme your skype name I’ll add you 🙂
Ok..
Do you mean ymcmb? Yeah pretty much everyone is plugged into the matrix nowadays and you will rarely find anybody who is not. I know where you are coming from and I dont feel you are a “typical bastard”. Many people (including myself) go thru what you are going thru but that does not make it typical. Different people have different reasons on why they feel the same way.
rashaun40
Painnlife yea… they are everywhere and i cant stand the sight of it… i just feel like stabbing everyone..
RealTalk30.. when I first saw your posts I thought what a great guy.. been through so much trying to help people..but now im seeing right through and some of the things you say are just really mean…. wasting your time..I hope you realize that some people truly believe they are just not good enough and never will be good enough for another person to love. You don’t care about trying to help anyone except the people who want to listen to you or agree with you?
That’s ok if you think that. And yes I can be very mean..in my own way. Look around.. We aren’t all exactly holding hands and singing happy songs here together. Ive been being bashed for giving people my view point from the start but who really cares. Your comments are just weird sometimes! lol telling people to do crunches? lol
Now now children no fighting~
Well you haven started fighting yet haha
Everyone has their own opinions and ways of commenting.
On this site you are bound to have altercations with someone.
i didnt read all the comments, I dont understand why you are suicidal.
u r not the 1st one who lost parents, many persons r alone have no love. whats wrong with that?
if u like, i have skype & will be happy to be ur friend.
I kinda started it yesterday..ill admit! 😀 but I never hold any grudges. I mean, look at the way me and “noonoo12” comment…she hates me somethkng fierce but I’m always happy to see her comments for some strange reason. 🙂 in my real life I embrace conflict with open arms…and guns of steel! *kisses skinny guns*
@RealTalk30
I don’t hate you.
@RealTalk30.. Noodles is helping me over this right now.
@noonoo12- I’m RealTalk30, I know you don’t hate me already! 🙂 I just wanted it on record! 😀 ..jk
@absolute- noodle is a very smart person, and i believe is endlessly creative. I’ve been pleasantly surprised at what he/she has had to say so far. 🙂
LOL what a poo. Go eat a dick. 1st time seeing someone on here shitting on someone else. Here aren’t any pretences.
@realtalk I feel alot better because of this. Thank you all
Ya and you were bashing me earlier for saying that exercises can help back pain but they do help sometimes, building stronger muscles has helped me an some other people I know with their back pain and I was only wondering if he had talked to a doctor abt it. Anyway last coment im making to you because apparently anyone who has any ideas that don’t go along with yours is “weird”
@abosolute..sorry for spaming your thread with things that weren’t on topic
@sara No problemo
I’m not arguing…I think…well lets see how it looks in writing.
(I’m not mad or upset and I don’t dislike anyone right now)
First..I made 2 comments and you took it waaaay too seriously and now you condem me for that? Ok..moving on..
I think there was some miscommunication I don’t think you read my words correctly. I have a spine problem that can’t be cured by any amount of crunches, I know cuz I was a martial arts teacher till I couldn’t do it any more (spine). From what I remember in RenoBill’s writings is that he also has trouble with his spine, not just his “back” in general. Now..maybe where you come from a “crunch” excersise is something different, but it’s not likely.
I only wish Reno would have given his opinion on the matter.
But I do have to say Sara, you really were quick to say I don’t care. I’m a playful spirit an I provoke thought and emotion to improve the quality of life..and I do it this way. The way you see me.
@absolute- thanks for letting me be myself and I truely hope you keep finding that self respect you deserve. And thanks for sharing yourself with me..it means a lot to me.
Stay strong.
@Everyonethat posted. @noodle had helped me extremely yesterday. Today i actually ate something, which i havent done for weeks. Im actually getting up, and bathing. I feel alot happier every time i talk to her on skype and i havent cut myself in a while.. @noodle if i havent already told you a million times, Thank You.
@Everyonethat posted. @noodle had helped me extremely yesterday. Today i actually ate something, which i havent done for weeks. Im actually getting up, and bathing. I feel alot happier every time i talk to her on skype and i havent cut myself in a while.. @noodle if i havent already told you a million times, Thank You.