leaving.

i’m male and in my mid-twenties, and have lived long enough now to have seen friends, family members, and others around me make something of themselves, but i never did. i attended college on and off for years after high school, but never attained a degree. i dated pretty and nice girls, but can’t say any relationship i’ve been in lasted long or was meaningful. i’m lonely and have been for a long time. if i try to meet girls, i worry about being hurt again and doom myself to failure. i want to finish my degree, but feel that the only way to do it is join the military, which would take me further from what i really want anyway, a family of my own. i’m buried in debt, and on the verge of losing everything. there isn’t anyone i know i can talk to honestly. i want this hurt to stop, and for people to stop hurting me, but i know there’s only one way to assure that… i wonder if any of my so-called friends or exes would even acknowledge my passing sometimes, and doubt it. i’ve caused and suffered more hurt than i can bear, burned all my bridges, now it’s just time to go.