I am destined to destroy myself my darker thoughts may lessen from time to time but they never go away the need for physical pain and inebriation holds me down. For every good day there are thousands of bad ones. I’ve never done anything good for myself. I convince myself I don’t need to eat today get blackout drunk grab a razorblade or hunting knife and cut myself open and watch the blood pour. I can keep myself busy and not think destructively but when I sit and think for 5 minutes I think about shotguns and razors. No one cares to be around me […]
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i’m male and in my mid-twenties, and have lived long enough now to have seen friends, family members, and others around me make something of themselves, but i never did. i attended college on and off for years after high school, but never attained a degree. i dated pretty and nice girls, but can’t say any relationship i’ve been in lasted long or was meaningful. i’m lonely and have been for a long time. if i try to meet girls, i worry about being hurt again and doom myself to failure. i want to finish my degree, but feel that the only way to do […]
It’s been a long year.
Well, almost a year.
The last time I posted anything on here, I was in a semi-good place with my life and I was slowly getting stronger. The depression was lessening day by day and I was coming to realize that my life wasn’t really as bad as it could be.
I was on the road to recovery.
Since then, I feel like I’ve taken 5 steps forward and 10 steps back. That is why I am back here, to complain about the tiny little mishaps in my life, and some of the big ones. To let you- my beautiful online world of strangers […]
I can’t take the emotional pain anymore. I’ve tried so many different anti-depressants. Do I need ECT? I just want some ******** to leave this world peacefully. I’m never going to accept my sexuality. I have unwanted same-sex attraction and at the same time want a family life. I’m 42 and time is running out. What’s the point of all this? Please god intervene, save this soul from hell and let me die peacefully. Psychiatrists, psychologists, support groups, friends, family, exercise, tried everything but I’m constantly thinking about suicide. Yes, I have some things going on in my life which I appreciate, BUT THE LONELINESS […]
I just sometimes ending itall is so enticing because every single worry I have would go away I wouldn’t stress abouy my boyfriend friends, family, school and all of the dumb assignemtns I have, orchestra, band I wouldn’t have any more cares. And the relief that I would experience just is really appealing sometimes but that also wprries me, what of I actually do it it just sounds rrally nice right now. I can’t sleep and I want my emotions to go away they’re so stupis. To not feel amything wow and at rhis momwnt I look forward to absolutely nothing. I’m done
I’m so positive, always smiling, laughing, telling people what they want to hear, trying to make them happy but sometimes when I’m alone, I just can’t control myself. I fight myself, knowing I will loose. I just, I don’t know, I don’t know how to explain. People out there, having fun, couples, or friend groups, going out everyday, their parents let them go out. But they are always wanting for more, i don’t understand. Is it fair? I love living and life but sometimes it’s seems so dark I can’t even find the light switch. Â Ofcourse I feel so blessed for all of these, so […]
For all my life I have just passed from one painful absurdity to the next. And all along I thought, woe is me, I haven’t any luck in life; a life of a boy who was intellectual, creative, loving, and self-aware. As I came to adulthood, I came to the melancholic realization that I am none of these things, nor have I ever been. Even with every shred of sorrowful heartbreak and death of a loved one or a cherished emotion, from every punch in the groin to every stab in the neck, the truly, most dangerously negative force was my own sense of self. […]
The world goes on without you here. adjust or just collapse. I never been been good at adjusting. Hell I don’t feel comfortable besides when I’m alone. I know what it would do to my family if I killed myself. I wish things were easier. I wish it was not so hard. I fail at school, friends, family, boyfriends, eating, and self control. I’m not gonna graduate high school I don’t have the energy. I think I’m gonna go. I won’t be back most likely wish me luck. Peace.
I almost ended my life after my drama performance.
I was stage manager, so I wasn’t an actor, like all of my friends. Already I was alone.
All I heard at the lunch table was how much fun it was, and how I should join drama. In it, no one talked to me, and I felt alone all the time. I felt abandoned.
Now these same friends say that I can talk to them about anything. But, in class they rarly talk to me, and I feel alone. I have SAD, and I need my friends now. They are seniors, and are leaving next year, and […]
There’s no upside to anything anymore, i don’t have the motivation to keep pretending everything is okay. But I’d rather walk in the middle of a busy street than just face it. Nothing matters in my life anymore. I don’t have friends, family, or loved ones. I should just go into my closet pull out the Judge and get it over with. But I’d hate for my roommates to have to clean up the mess. It’s pathetic when your only reason for living is to not inconvenience others.
I have been holding on for too long and I am slipping. I have no one up top to reach down and grab me, pull me up; and I have no one to catch me when I fall. I was once on the edge now I am dangling and ready to fall. I thought I could handle the weight of the world, fight on towards my future until the day I die. But I can’t. The world is depressing even-though there is so much fun around. I am so heart-broken even though I have friends, family, and a boyfriend who love me dearly. You may […]
Bad love brought most of us here.all we ve had from friends,family,and the world in general is BAD LOVE
My life, as I see it, is a sea without any shore.
I’m 16 years old, God knows if I have high blood pressure and liver disease, I have no money, I dont have the girl that I love and I have the worst relation with my parents.
I’m completely alone. No real friends, family, nothing. Nada.
I dont know if I will get the girl that I love and every other thing will be alright.
I’m from Bangladesh, and this country is a third world country which sucks, and I’m trapped here.
I know many of you here writes sad things that I have no love and no friends […]
I have no friends. Family doesn’t care about me. I dont understand why. All i want is just someone to talk to. I just want to listen to someone. I guess I just want someone to love..
I have a hard time talking about this stuff but i just dont know anymore about anything one second I’m happy and ok and most of the time i just dont know what to think its weird, i dont know what to think anymore I go to the gym to help my confidence and it seems the harder i go the harder i am on my self , I feel i made the wrong decisions in life im not getting anywhere with life i feel like im at a stand still, i hate every choice i have made noone knows i feel This way and […]
I have friends . Family ect . I had a rough child hood but it made me the strong person I am today . I can handle abuse , problems, conflict . Or at least on the surface . I smoke about an eigth a day of weed to mello out and drink when I can’t smoke . I use to use other drugs till I realized I was only letting “them” win by making myself look like the dirtbag they made me sound like . So I stick to my pot and alcohol although I have a struggle everyday. I feel like I dot […]
new to here. i have actually tried and failled twice to committ suicide. i was unconcious on my frontroom flat the last time. from a couple of litres of vodka and loads of pills. i had to have my stomache pumped out and kept in hospital for a couple of days. i didnt ask to be saved. but some one likes me. i was driven to d hospital and didnt kno where i was. i just am at a seriously low eb in life and have nothing to look forward to. i do not fit in with every day people as such. im just a […]
Ive lost/about to lose everything that is important to me. I let some outside factors take over and rule my life. Making my relationship suffer and eventually costing me the only person who really matters. It all started when my dad was tricked into accepting stolen property. My dad is an old sick gentle man who has survived cancer. He still needs a lot of medical attention but now he has two felony accounts on him. During the same time my band i have been with for 5+years breaks up and one of best friends goes to jail for something he didnt even do. So […]
I have been feeling really low for years I am a 5’11 African american 22 year old fat girl I intimidate people so I can understand why some people turn their faces up when I enter the room or when I do something embarrassing why they judge me with their eyes sometimes I want to  take myself out of this world so as to not burden my family. My shameful trying face is my problem its fake to me That face of  mine that tries at life the me that is happy feel like all an act to work for an empty place that never exists and I’m starting to feel like even strangers can […]
I’ve been a cutter since I was 11 or 12.. since before I knew why I liked it, or that other people in the world did it.
It may be a dangerous addiction, but I argue that it isn’t worse than drugs or alcohol or smoking.
I basically live in long sleeves and pants, but in ten years, I’ve slipped up and had some scars spotted by friends, family, co-workers.
I find some morbid fascination in people’s reactions and wondered what kind of reactions other people on here have received.
These days, I only keep close friends who understand my issues, but when I was a kid, […]
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