Well world you get a chance to laugh yet again. Finally being home after tricking the dr’s in to think your ok…bravo on my wonderful production of “I am truly ok. It was an accident…No I didn’t want to kill myself.” Even if I would have had the courage to say “YES it was an attempt.” I was to embarrassed by the fact that I cant even kill myself right. What kind of fucked up thing is that. I truly thought that after a couple of months in a hospital bed that my own bed would feel nice. But it doesn’t, it feels worse then the hospital bed did, it feels lonely and empty. Just like it do. I lost my job, got laid off. I guess while I was gone they found that I had no use. I am useless to everything, to the world to myself. Useless. Damaged Goods and useless to the very bottom of my soul.
I am not quiet sure where to go from here. What to do now. I know I will try again, and I do feel that it will be soon. I also know that I see the mistakes I made in my past attempt and that it will help me make sure this one wont be an attempt.
I want to die, I am ready to die.
2 comments
What part of the world do you live in?
that sounds pretty bad.. sorry you had to go through all of this.. i also had a failed attempt.. plan didn’t work. what mistakes have you made in your past attempt? also, have you tried searching for a new job? you never know, you might end up with a better one that you had previously.