 I wrote this thing, showed it to someone, sent them a copy and have now read virtually the same piece of writing(with someones else’s name on), only slightly rehashed. Don’t ask me why the big things that have happened to me have left me crawling around like a wounded animal, but a little thing like theft of my inner most thoughts – has got me PISSED OFF.Â
Because I’ve been down and insecure I’ve let certain people make me feel like I should apologize for my existence. Warning; about to state the obvious: I have every right to be here, breath this air, walk this land as much as any person. Who do you fucking think you are?Â
Lightening strike to my head – I think i finally get it. Not as a throwaway line. But really.
How dare someone take my writing. I’ve written since I was little, nothing great, i’m not deluded or anything, but it’s mine. Â I’m not speaking to this person again. I’m done. I’m fucking done. Done letting petty, snarky, immature, Â obtuse, unoriginal, unthinking, absurd, addled, inane, subhuman, cruel hearted, mean spirited, cockroachy, sluglike, imagination-dream sucking people tell me one tiny thing wrong with me or push me one inch off my plate. FUCK THEM.
I’m holding my ground. I’m not budging from who I am.
18 comments
Wow. That sucks. I’d be irate too.
It sucks how it often takes “something like this,” with someone totally, blatantly crossing an obvious line, especially with something so personal, to make us realize certain things… which are often very uncomfortable realizations.
Yep. You are so right clevername. I feel embarrassed to some degree that I’ve written on here more than once about someone treating me badly and my crying about it, yet not straight out telling them to f-off. Feeling wretched and even contemplating taking my life.
Because this was literally black and white, even my denial couldn’t deny it. This is where I”m drawing the line. Clearly I should have drawn it about 3 city blocks ago, but at least I’m seeing it now.
(thanks)
I’d probably be out for blood if that happened to me – I totally get where you’re coming from. Also, imagination-dream sucking people should all be rounded up and deposited on the surface of one of Jupiter’s moons.
Even if the bit of writing wasn’t anything special, it sounds like you showed it to this person in confidence and they turned around and plagiarized it. That’s beyond asinine. You’re right to lash back if anyone makes you feel like you have less of a right to exist – people who thrive on making others feel insignificant seriously need to get it through their skulls that every human is just that; human. It’s about having at least a modicum of empathy, and we seem to live in a society that fosters callousness. It shouldn’t be as well accepted as it is.
I do understand the shame of allowing continued affronts, when the cost of putting your foot down seems to outweigh the cost of tolerance. You keep telling yourself “it’s for the best” or “it’ll be worse if i say enough is enough…”
But if you let stuff like that go, long enough, it will eventually escalate to a point where, as you said, even your denial can’t deny it. Tolerance becomes impossible. Self-control is unstable at best, and you lose the desire to refrain from allowing the confrontation to occur, or even begin to want to trigger it yourself, just to get it over with, because you can’t stand it going on that way any longer, and you can’t stand that you’ve already let it get so far.
I can’t change your embarrassment, but i’ll say that you shouldn’t be embarrassed to be embarrassed… if that makes sense. Sometimes we’re just not ready to accept what the first lesson tries to teach.
Try not to HULK SMASH anything. Don’t hurt yourself being angry. Take some time to calm down and decide the most appropriate course of action. At least now you know one more place not to place your trust. Mark and advance. Don’t step there again.
@lorax:
“beyond asinine!”
“modicum!”
Nice word choice. Every time i read “beyond asinine” i can’t help but almost burst out laughing.
Also, the conveyed meaning was quite valid too.
Damn, you get it too 😀 – i have a habit of using that phrase because it always tickles my funny bone a bit. Haha… What can I say, ADHD is fun sometimes.
If you need someone to rant to or anything, you can always email me. I will listen and be a friend.
Send an email to brl.cents@gmail.com
@ lorax
Yes! Really well said! I agree with clevername!
Thank you for understanding how a small thing can represent something much bigger.
“people who thrive on making others feel insignificant seriously need to get it through their skulls that every human is just that; human” Thanks for that. ^^
And making me laugh too! “modicum of empathy” “Jupiter’s moons” indeed!
Icebergs don’t calve all at once. They usually start with small trickles that carve through the ice, but when they decide they’re going to collapse, it’s never a small event. There are good folks out there, but it’s hard to build trust when so many people don’t seem to care about being trustworthy.
@clevername
Yes, that does make sense to me. I am embarrassed but for whatever reason, just couldn’t fully move out of that attitude of going along with another person’s manipulation of me. Even when I KNEW i was being manipulated. It had its own momentum and my feelings about it were escalating as you say. I needed a different kind of bump in the road to shift it.
I won’t “HULK SMASH”! =) But it did feel good to be angry for a change, not crushed. And thank you as your words have already helped me to calm down. Your understanding of the situation is very helpful.
“Mark and advance. Don’t step there again.” – 🙂
@lorax
The other night I had a sort of crisis just inside myself, and had really bad feelings. But I got through it (with help from to the really sweet people on SP)
I thought it was me hating myself. Now I think it was more that letting someone bully me was fighting with whatever it is inside of me that actually likes me.
I like the trickling iceberg analogy. Because, like many here, I’ve had a lifetime of people pushing me around, hurting, and pushing me off course. There have been various ways, trickles, I’ve tried to deal with the frustration/pain. From scribbling on my dad’s work, breaking things of my moms, to hitting myself, and more serious things.
Along with positive things “trickles” like writing and painting. I’ll happily watch it all crash down in the sunshine. <3
It’s all part of the natural flow – action and reaction. This kind of reaction you’re having might well be a much bigger turning point than it seems, but that sort of realization takes some time and distance to become clear for what it is. I can relate to how you’re feeling because I’ve had several of those iceberg calving experiences recently and it always feels liberating somehow – like you’re bursting through some frustratingly claustrophobic barrier to emerge into a wide-open pasture full of pretty flowers and song-birds. Those moments are always special. 🙂
@ lorax
That’s just so beautiful! I’m so happy your iceberg has been melting!
I’m going to go dream of pretty flowers and song-birds now!
<3
@clevername
“Mark and advance. Don’t step there again.”
I’m going to make this my motto!
G’nite!
<3
That sucks. Glad you’re stick up for yourself.
You go girl! Good on you for sticking up for yourself and not cowering! That really sucks though! I would rip that person’s head off if he stole my writing! I write a bit myself and i take great pride in it.
We all support you butterfly_free.
I think if some one stole my writing I’d feel more challenged to create more and more. I might feel sorry for them because its that hard for them to find the words that best fits them. But my words are for everyone so i dont need to own them once i press publish, i just wave them goodbye like balloons in the breeze. 🙂 For me the hardest part is using the word press! hehe
But they can’t originate what comes from inside of you, you stand true to your words and where they can’t show your personality through their posts, you shine through with words that stand true as well. The thievery is proof of the truth and strength of your words.
@AtTheEnd Thanks friend … <3
@Dez Sorry I didn't see this before but thanks so much for that! I really appreciate it.
@ RealTalk What you wrote is beautiful and helps me a lot. Thanks RT. I will keep writing. You are very inspiring to me. If I was a cat I'd be purring right now! ^^