Heartless to say

it seeps into your heart, your mind, your soul wrecking your body everywhere it goes.
i cant take the time to stop and think where am i going? Who is gonna help me?
you wake up in the middle of the night and your dreams scare you right out of your bed.
How do i get out of this?
You take a knife and you just cut because after you do it sends shivers of warm fuzzy tingles throughout your senses.
it leaves you shivering with ecstasy
You wish someone would help you but all they can say is are you okay?
How do they expect you to reply when you dont even know the answer?
Sigh, no one can. jsut rely on yourself to pull you through this.
i’ve planned how im going to die.
say goodbye to parents in the morning and they drop me off at school.
but. instead of going to class like they thought i did. i walk out of the school gates and hop on the train.
catch the train to the shops and buy a bottle of bleach and then catch the bus to the river.
climb over the rail of the bridge and sit jsut above the water. shimmering. flickering. seconds go buy.
then down the bottle of bleach and say one last goodbye to this cruel world.
thanks for things that i didnt really need?
all i really wanted was to be free in my own shell. Happy and content with my own life and being happy for once rather than sad all the time. Why cant i just be given that simple little thing?