Maybe I’m Selfish For Hanging On

I ruin everything, and not just once, over and over again. I promised I would hang on but the point is getting harder and harder to see, am I not being selfish knowing that I sabotage everything around me yet still I hang on and continue to ruin everything. I am making things harder for those around me. I don’t do it on purpose, so I don’t see how to correct it. I don’t want to be around me, so I can’t see why anyone else would.