Its odd knowing you only have 840 hours left till you die….seems like a long time but not really……. the last September and October I’ll ever experience….. its not really a bad feeling….it leans more toward anxious…only regret that I have is that a Time Machine wasn’t invented during my lifetime…. or at least a machine that let you watch your memories as movies….. although there are a few things I’ll miss about life…..
NCIS
Cookies and cream Ice cream
My dog lexi
Halloween during childhood
The years 1998-2004
Ms.Lagrange
and Childhood…..
31 comments
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Jumps season gets underway culminating in the Cheltenham Festival extravaganza. That’s not something to miss out on, I’ll tell you that for nothing. Of course, nobody here benefited from my in-depth analysis and live commentary this year because some people had a problem with posts of a serious nature.
what about us?!
I can’t agree with this post I’m afraid. Maybe we at SP should kidnap you until you come to your senses. You can’t just leave us behind like this.
I hope the last month leaves you with nothing but happy memorys to take to your death bed bro.
a time machine can’t and will not be created.oh my god i am a genius.:)seriously i like your comments and it will be one of the sadesst moments on sp history when you leave.i wish you the best after life.if the life here is painfull for you just like it is for me.so long
you and i both my brother. its happening soon.
I’m not worried about missing anything and its nothing to be sad over…..just another human that died in some part of the world….humans die every minute guys…
I appreciate the heartfelt comments but there is no need feel bad for me or even feel bad at all…..think of it as me graduating from “school”….I’ll graduate in a month and you guys will graduate someday whether you want to or not…
Obviously didn’t watch the 2013 Champion Hurdle where Hurricane Fly became only the second horse in history to regain his crown. I don’t know about anyone else but that moment brought a tear to my eye.
Or maybe we should all get together, pool our money, and start our own “intentional cooperative,” like… i think it was Roak who mentioned.
I had a particularly difficult evening last night… and not due to my own personal issues; unless of course, we count my being stuck where i am, among people i’d rather not associate with, as “my personal issues.”
Ever since i made that lost post titled “Hmm…” i’ve been feeling pretty much the same. I can’t live like this, and i can’t seem to find a way to do enough about it, to change it.
@DOM, your obsession with horse racing is to be admired….and your comments on it are quite funny sometimes IMO…but I’m not into race horses….I wanted to go to the Kentucky derby as a kid but fathers are usually the ones to take kids to events like that since mines was MIA….well
@clevername…. if pooling money together is a requirement I’m….uh….how you say…..very “under qualified” …. I wouldn’t feel right benefiting from others with no contributions of my own…heh….sort of how I’m doing right now by just existing….you know just the other day my mother said I need to get a job because she can’t keep carrying my weight….that made me feel even more horrible (who’d thought it was possible to feel lower than I currently do) but anyway she’s right….its not fair for me to exist and leech off her hard work with no contributions to anything except keeping the house clean and doing seasonal yard work….
You didn’t miss much. Most sports are better on television.
I really don’t know what to say on this post..
I don’t want you to die
Ah ….it doesn’t matter….we all die someday….it doesn’t matter when…… in the grand scheme of things I’m a trillionth of a billionth of a millionth of a spec AKA totally insignificant
But not here.. That’s where it’s easy to fool yourself! You have the ability to reach out to so many.. I’ve seen it
You, persephone, clevername, C4 , rach, scarred kitty, killswitchon, tristeza, and many others have that same ability…. I’m no more valuable to this site than anybody else….there are plenty of people here that are able to talk with others and help them….just because I was able to help doesn’t mean I’m able to be helped…
Going to the Kentucky Derby would be awesome! Everyone gets to wear fabulous outfits and flamboyant hats. That’s my kind of event.
Yeah we all die someday but you’re way too young. And too intelligent. If you got a job you could probably manage until things improve and you got your own place. The world isn’t so bad if you see it in a certain light.
This isn’t over
^
Not really. Nothing like ladies day at Royal Ascot.
@Duke Wow, that one takes the cake. Even the Queen shows up. I must make a point of timing my visit to England with this event.
“You, persephone, clevername, C4 , rach, scarred kitty, killswitchon, tristeza, and many others have that same ability…. I’m no more valuable to this site than anybody else….there are plenty of people here that are able to talk with others and help them….just because I was able to help
doesn’t mean I’m able to be helped…”
Your post and this comment up here made me feel sad..
Honestly I’ll miss reading your comments here, PainNlife, I won’t lie. You’re 1 year older than me and if life was different we could have been friends, I confess I always think that we could have been friends.
I still remember when I joined SP for real, I commented on your post… It was about nostalgia.. Nostalgia ! *sigh* i still hope that something can change this month so you can survive, I don’t know.
A big virtual hug (:
@Tristeza….Don’t be….I’m not….be sad for the people that will still be here suffering after I’m gone there’s no reason to be sad for me….I’ve accepted it and when my day comes I will welcome death in open arms no matter what….I consider all my fellow SP’ers friends …. I wish it was reality that we all lived in close proximity but we are spread far apart through out the world….the chances of us meeting in person are slim to none…..especially since many of us have financial problems….but please don’t be sad…. after I’m gone just smile and be glad one less person is in this hellhole …
I know what you mean, lately I’ve been fighting myself asking why I’m still here. This life is shitty.. And the feeling of accepting our own death before suicide is good, I know.. I felt it twice before..
Just know you’ll be missed around here!
I’ve felt that way several times and yet I’m still here, and my circumstances haven’t changed. But I am holding onto hope that they will.
Well, this post is pretty depressing. Nonetheless, I find myself in a somewhat similar situation. I am much younger than you, as you may know, so when I feel this way, people think that I am crazy.
If you have to go, please find a way to go peacefully. The last thing that you need is more pain in what is left of your life. I wish you the best in whatever you choose.
Don’t worry….we’ll all be reunited soon enough….and I hope everybody here on SP finds a way to manage….although I know I’m not the first to succumb to death here and I most certainly won’t be the last….
I’ve spent countless hours finding a cheap painless way to go out so don’t worry about me hurting myself anymore than I am now…. but thanks guys….I just hope things work out for all of you….just because one soldier has fallen in battle doesn’t mean the battle is lost…. I’ll live vicariously through you guys 🙂
What’s your email?
Dspell2011 @ gmail . com no spaces
This is sad to hear, but I can definitely understand. I hope you find a solution that assuages your pain, although preferably it doesn’t pertain to permanent extermination.
Also, cookies and cream ice cream is the shit, you know what’s up. it’s sad to hear someone with such great taste want out. Stay safe PainNLife, hoping and wishing you the best
Thanks SB…. I hope you find a way to manage and be happy…
if you are truly happy and healthy as you can be and you still want to die I cant argue , but if you are making a decision based out of sadness or medication side effects or petty things like money then you are jumping the gun a bit (pun intended) wait till you are in a better mental state to make such life changing decisions. I am happy and healthy mentally an physically, and still want to graduate to ghost college :), read my post and follow my directions for a few years and then make your decision it under (happy healthy and ready to die) if your still alive?