I’m so ready to be done with it. I’ve got my setup just waiting for me to go peacefully into the quiet dark. It calls to me every night. This feeling in my chest physically hurts me and my brain is simply exhausted. But my plan calls on me to wait.
If I do it right, I’ll help a lot of people in the process. Until December, it’s just building up my savings so I’ll have something worthwhile to leave behind and cover my expenses. I don’t think I’ll be able to wait until then. I’m trying to be considerate to those who have to clean up after me so I spent this morning packing and preparing. Many things become so useless. Other things I realize someone else will have a much better appreciation or use for. It actually takes my mind off of things and makes me feel happy to be able to give back. It’ll be like Christmas… but awful =( I wish I could take their pain with me too.