Tortured Soul.

I’m not a writer,  just bear with me.. As I age I see no change. Just a flatline with no end, blank room with no doors or windows. Everyone has doors and windows. I’m always in a rut, never can catch a break. In pain mentally and physically.  According to my doctor,  I’m “fine”. Everyone thinks im fine.  Im on a fine line , wanting to disappear. People who didn’t deserve to die should take my place, at least they had a place in this world. As of this point im not interested in harming myself, iust the thoughs of volunteering to leave disturb me like ticking of a clock. I don’t know what to do.