Tag:

meaningless

When you’re in bed, you’re dead

by Redandpurple 11/12/2016

written by Redandpurple

And this is me. A person trapped inside her brain her own ethnicity and for the most of the day her bed.

For what did she live? Why did she come to this university? Is this the end afterall?

You know, I never imagined I would live to be even 18. 18 was such a grown up number, and growing up I was told I was “immature,” “didn’t understand how the world worked.”

How can I survive in a world that, I was told, wants to rape women like me? That I didn’t understand? That was totally unfair, which I should get used to? WHY DO I EVEN […]

11/12/2016 0 comment

Ugly Lives (don’t) Matter

by deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful) 5/1/2016

written by deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful)

Sorry for double posting. I want to have a heart attack. Im such a fucking failure. I’m so fucking alone and meaningless. I have no escape from this shit i want to die. I’m considering whether or not i can try attempt again. Unfortunately I won’t have any good attempts. Im thinking about slicing my thighs to ribbons just to express this pain.

5/1/2016 4 comments

the most meaningless person who ever existed

by deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful) 3/12/2016

written by deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful)

Why couldn’t kill myself when I had the chance. I wouldn’t have so many painful memories and feel so out of place and suicidal. I only know my best days are ahead of me because one of those days includes dying. My life never started. I sometimes can trick myself into thinking that people I have met actually cared about me but deep down I know that is untrue. I hate that of painful memories of liars and heart thieves that all in all provided nothing but pain and trauma. I don’t matter. I don’t connect to anyone or anything. I shouldn’t even have been […]

3/12/2016 2 comments

Ugliness Complex I’m ugly and complexed though I’m not that deep

by deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful) 2/1/2016

written by deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful)

Ive been rejected hundreds of times in person and thousands of times online. No one wants to fuck a fat ugly depressed unconfident anxious broke piece of shit. I’ll admit i no longer try to talk to women. In the same way someone who can’t play basketball stops shooting baskets after missing every shot. Socially i live in a different world than everyone else. I dont have any social networking. I dont go to bars(panic attacks and i hate liquor) i didn’t go to parties when i was younger. I havent been alive to an extent most people just dont understand. I hate this world […]

2/1/2016 1 comment

Posts?

by AdventLunacysTypewriter 12/17/2015

written by AdventLunacysTypewriter

I’m left wondering how genuine these posts are. everyone on the suicideproject is run by their emotions (myself included), and I’m wondering how a depressed man/woman can think clearly enough to type as much as everyone here has, or if everything here is typed simply out of angst, rendering it all meaningless.

12/17/2015 20 comments

Sherlock Kind of Bored

by violet 11/18/2015

written by violet

As I am getting close to another decade milestone, one I hoped I never reached, I feel like giving up.
I don’t feel sad. I just feel empty. As from many years ago, I have come a long way from the severe depression I used to have. (http://suicideproject.org/2009/12/perfect-life/)
I know what it is like to hate living life every second.
I don’t feel that way anymore.
I want to love people more who care about me, and check up on me. I want to have more sympathy for those people and their hard times.
But I’m like the Benedict Cumberbatch Sherlock. He doesn’t care about […]

11/18/2015 3 comments

How nice it would be to just die.

by sunshinestate90 11/10/2015

written by sunshinestate90

Ever since I graduated college last year, the meaning in my life has decreased. I’m at a low that I’ve never experienced before. When I was in high school, it was all about teenage angst and being heartbroken from unrequited love. In college I was preoccupied with struggling to get by and remnants of my teenage angst. Now that I’m over my teenage angst and I can see clearer, suddenly life has become so meaningless and so boring. Nothing impresses me. Nothing excites me. I suppose this is called depression? But I have no real reason to be depressed. Sure, I still don’t have a […]

11/10/2015 6 comments

Another Lonely Saturday

by thejocobaby 9/20/2015

written by thejocobaby

I want to swallow all my pills. I am unsure about wanting to die. But this exsistence seems meaningless. And lonely. I want all the things im supposed to hate. Alcohol. Cigarettes. My bulimia. Sex eith strangers. I want all of it to help ease my sadness, my lonely, my anxiety and insecurity. I feel so desperate and lonely. Why am i all alone.

9/20/2015 10 comments

Where is hope?

by teana 7/31/2015

written by teana

The thought of death is soothing. I don’t want to die but I’m afraid of being alive. I’m afraid I’m never going to get out of this. I’m afraid of everything and I want to be alone for a long, long time away from everyone. Everything feels meaningless. Even loving or helping people sounds meaningless. I can’t find a point. I’m tired of trying.

7/31/2015 4 comments

What is my purpose ?

by APaleSoul 7/31/2015

written by APaleSoul

On to the point … when i was barely 3 years old , my parents went to work abroad since we didn’t have enough money to pay out the credits they had taken to build our new “Home” … the credits were more than 6 digits in € … I was still young and i had become a witness of so many family argues that its not even funny , i have seen my father hit my mother to *BLOOD*, believe me it was quite traumatising for a 3-5 year old kid to witness this … so on , when i was about 7 […]

7/31/2015 2 comments

Expiration date nearing

by Solja 6/28/2015

written by Solja

To put it bluntly I am 40 yrs old, apparently an attractive and intelligent guy, cultured and well traveled. Been on too many dates to count over the past 2 years but have lost interest in meaningless sex and meaningless relationships, the thought of continuing on this course for another 20 years just brings me to my knees in absolute pain and hopelessness. The people around me have their own problems and wouldn’t want to hear about my bullshit pain so obviously I can’t open up and tell anyone how bad it has gotten without burdening them or being called mentally ill. What I don’t […]

6/28/2015 2 comments

It’s a matter of time

by stewiedaddy 5/15/2015

written by stewiedaddy

My whole life I’ve known that there is something wrong with me, and ever since I’ve been old enough to be self-aware I’ve done a lot to make myself better. You kind of have to, yeah? In some ways it’s almost effortless. When you suffer intensely you have nothing to do but search for a way out, even if you’re just laying in bed, trying to figure everything out.

It’s this feeling of real loneliness, and an intense fear of being alone. It’s killing me. I’m in my mid-twenties and I feel like I’m at least middle-aged. I’ve fallen in love a few times but it […]

5/15/2015 2 comments

Total Alienation

by blub 5/3/2015

written by blub

Today I volunteered at a free kitchen. It was reasonably satisfying.

Now, rather than feeling depressed, I feel alienated at all levels – social, familial, spiritual, material, physical, personal, etc. Everything that previously held meaning for me seems utterly meaningless. Only the avoidance of animal discomforts – cold, hunger, pain, loudness – has any glimmer of motivation; even achievement of animal comforts – warmth, satiety, comfort, quiet – seems irrelevant.

Is this an improvement? I’m not sure.

Is alienation treatable? Also not sure.

5/3/2015 19 comments

What is the meaning of life? [help]

by pp1102 4/9/2015

written by pp1102

Hi, i am new to this site, please excuse my poor grammar and occasional incorrect spelling i do not really want to check all my mistakes and attempt to fix them and sorry for the long post, i could not shorten it out, this is the only place where i can truly speak whats on my mind.

What exactly am i dealing with? I’t cant be depression my problems are too meaningless to be that:

I constantly feel sad, like i am not doing anything useful with my pathetic, meaningless, insignificant life, like i have no meaning, sorry, its not like i have no meaning, i know […]

4/9/2015 3 comments

Still

by Namelessqueer 4/1/2015

written by Namelessqueer

I wonder if I’ll make it. I barely survive. I do not know what to do or who I truly am. I feel at the core of me jealousy for those who survive but also I need them to survive. I think they deserve everything they have and need, wish I could give them more.

This all feels meaningless when we think about the corners of our heart that keep wearing down, rounded by time, as rocks by the sea, to slide more seamlessly as the tides overwhelm.

I do not know that the love I have is enough to keep me here. I struggle and […]

4/1/2015 5 comments

1 Over 7 Billion

by Ryder 3/23/2015

written by Ryder

There are over seven billion people living on Earth, and I am just one person. I did some math and realized that one person makes up less than 0.0000000143 (one hundred forty-three ten billionths) of a percent of the entire population. One percent of 7 billion is 70 million. That’s 70 million people with names, feelings, personalities, beliefs, moms, dads, and problems. If they all just died, then the world would’ve only just lost one percent of its entire population. I don’t know more than a handful of people. Really just looking at the numbers you can see that a life isn’t worth much. What’s […]

3/23/2015 6 comments

If You Were Wondering

by effystonem 2/2/2015

written by effystonem

My username, effystonem, is based on Effy Stonem, a character from the British television show Skins. It’s truly a great show and if you watch it you’ll enjoy, I’m sure. Effy is a main character in the second generation of Skins, although she does show up in a few episodes in the first generation. Effy is completely relatable; at least I think she is. She’s quiet, dark, an alcoholic and drug addict. And she’s only 16. She’s drop dead gorgeous on the show, although her personality tends to repel people. She’s just a girl who bottles up all her emotions in this tiny, frail body. […]

2/2/2015 1 comment

Like the wind

by Voidt 1/26/2015

written by Voidt

Physically invisible,
mentally incurable,
Fiercely unstable,
I’m like the wind.

Mountains are in my way,
Skyscrapers disturb my stay,
I roam freely at bay,
I’m like the wind.

I slip endlessly into emptiness,
My existence is meaningless,
My destinations are aimless,
I’m like the wind.

For hatred it has sympathy,
In riches it lives simply,
It travels as if with a symphony,
I need to be more like the wind.

1/26/2015 6 comments

Empty

by Beautya 1/21/2015

written by Beautya

Can anyone else relate?

Lately ive been feeling really empty inside.. not really sad but just empty. Life feels meaningless and boring.

1/21/2015 9 comments

When things begin to break.

by JustCharlie 1/18/2015

written by JustCharlie

Do you ever feel yourself slipping back into the darkness and you try your hardest not to; you claw away at yourself and at everything around you in an attempt to stay sane.

You watch as all the things you care about become meaningless and things that once brought you happiness are now just chores, things you have to do in order to keep up the appearance that everything is normal.

Each time I battle these ‘demons’, eventually I find myself back in their company and the sick thing is, it’s like reuniting with an old friend.

1/18/2015 1 comment

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