I have been dead for years now and am ready to check out now…its time…I dont want to go into details of my life…all I can say is emotional and physical pain has worn me out…I do not want to be here anymore..I cant…I have tried to survive but I am drowning…sadly there is no one out there for me…no one…everyone I cared about…every one I thought cared for me is now gone…the people(person really) left in my life do not encourage suicide but left me emotionally long ago so I do not have a support system…not that I ever did…my physician have given up on me as well . They say there is nothing they can do to ease my pain…I am broken beyond repair…the rst of my life if I live will be drawn out painful beyond beyond belief…this has been going on for years…my pain has only gotten worse…I cut myself very often as a means to numb my physical pain…but the pain is so great nothing works anymore…like I said I have been dead for years now and now want to seal the deal and end my suffering…I do not want to be talked out of it as I have already made up my mind…I see animals suffer all the time and the humane way to handle this is to put them to sleep…what kind of person allows an animal to suffer…an animal who cannot be helped out of its situation…thy simply put them down and end their suffering…if its inhumane to allow an animal who cannot be helped to suffer, then why is it ok to allow a human who no longer can be helped to suffer? Anyways like I said I need a way out before the physical and emotional pain drive me to insanity…but how??? I have attempted suicide many many times…all failed…I have jumped out of a 5 story building(stupid) only to survive, I have taken an entire bottles of blood pressure meds(clonodine) only to wake up a few hours later get up as if nothing had happened and walk away confused…I have tried the final exit bag with out any gases however drunk and overdosed only to awaken with vomit all around me(some how I must have removed the bag during this process dont remember any of this) I survived…can someone please give me some advise as to a successful ending??? I have access to xanax, valium, clonodine and hydrocodine..can some combination to this work??? or is there a better easier way??? Please help I cannot take one more minute of this life I call hell…
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Gases and meds don’t usually work. The problem is there is no easy way out, (because of the darn survival instinct), otherwise I’d have been long dead. The only way is to keep trying, cautiously though. Try as many methods as you can. Don’t give up. I’d suggest going for the plastic bag method, starvation, drowning, and gun, if you’re lucky to have one. Just shoot as many times as you can. You won’t miss, I promise.
I know what it’s like to be dead inside for years. It’s worse than ANY torture. I hate to see, I hate to speak, to think, to breath, to move, to feel… But I know everything comes to an end, sooner or later, good or bad. You’ll find yours.