I’m trying to change.

This past weekend I was able to get away and see some old friends of mine; and what a breath of fresh air it was. For the first time in a long time I was happy and enjoyed myself and didn’t think once about cutting. I was worried about seeing my friends with noticeable cuts but when they saw it they didn’t freak out. They hugged me and told me to call them and talk to them when I was sad, and to try and hold on for when they come home. It was really nice to have some confirmation that my real friends cared about me. Change is a really big trigger for my depression, so I’m trying to fight it. I’m trying to bring big changes into my life and not get depressed over them. Like I’ve found the motivation to look into actual colleges to transfer to and I’m trying to save up for a car that I actually want. And on the plus side, my cuts are healing and it doesn’t look like they’ll scar this time. Scars are a big trigger for me too, but like I said I’m really trying to put myself in the mental state of fighting my triggers. Also I’m starting to make friends at school…nothing major but at least I’m talking to people in my classes and not being a total loner! I’m really praying that this positive attitude lasts long for me…or at least long enough for my friends to come home.