It’s finally over…

I’m still hurting mentally and physically. My body aches, especially my stomach…and I’ve fought crying all day but I think I will give into sorrow soon and cry myself to sleep.
But I made it.
I made it…and I may not be okay for a long long time, but I’m on my way there. I’ve felt like I was standing on broken glass all day, like the slightest movement would slice me open…like I’m hanging by a frayed thread that could snap at any moment…
I’ve been on the edge of this cliff trying to hold on as it crumbled beneath me…reaching and grabbing and finding nothing to hold onto, my grave waiting below, but somehow…somehow I didn’t fall…I’m still here standing on broken glass.
But slowly, the glass is turning to sand. It will take many years before I can think of him without the memory cutting me like broken glass, but someday, it will be like walking on warm sand, soft, inviting, comforting, and remembering his voice will be like the ocean soothing me to sleep in the sand of his memory. Someday, someday I will be okay.
Not today…but someday.
Because I made it…and it is finally over, at least for now…