I don’t have any fight left in me. I’m tired and this is not how I want things to be! I’m tired of crying, I’m tired of shouting, I’m tired of cutting, just being alive is draining because when I open my eyes I realize that as much as I want things to change, they won’t. And I’ve said this to people over and over: “I feel defeated! There’s no more fight in me!” but you tell me to buck up, cheer up and face a new day. Keeping holding on? I’ve been holding on and I’ve been the strong one, but I’m not strong, I’m a fucking coward because I am still here.
My walls are impenetrable, no one can get in because people in general are one big disappointment, but as I hold my walls up I’m crumbling underneath. It’s just a matter of how long before this world crushes me into nothingness.
Well done life, you win, I lose. You managed to destroy my soul
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4 comments
I like your writing style.
I’d love to hear more about your life, your story. If you want to talk, feel free to send me a message.
Cheers.
Life can destroy souls. But it will stop there. “Holding on” is the default. I know it feels like you have no fight left in you, but if you do nothing, life forces you to hold on, dangling off the side of a cliff. It seems impossibly difficult to try to climb up and safe cry seems so far away. But letting go seems terrifyingly final and scary. But you have to choose one. Because life is just going to leave you there.
Embrace the fact that you have walls, graffiti them with all of your favourite colours and pictures, have a window put in and give the ones on the other side the middle finger. Have an electric guitar and a drumkit put in and beat the crap out of them. Make these walls a room of your own xxxxxxxx
Thanks @lookingforareason for your interesting take on the situation. I read that comment in class and I sat there smiling to myself like an idiot 🙂
@Letstalk im keen to chat, let me know