New school=New start, right?? WRONG. Â I started the year with a few great friends. Â We were going to be inseparable. Â and then these journal entries start again…..
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I am an epic failure at life.  I have no friends, no one to talk to and who will be there for all the scary parts of school. I have no guys who actually like me. I have no one and nothing. I am failing some of my classes.  I have no relationship with my dad or my sister. My mom can’t know half of what I do. I really just need to focus on school and getting to where I want to be.  But I also want people around me, who care about me, and will help me, and let me help them, and will be there through the good times as well as the bad.  Is that too much to ask? I just want to feel like I actually belong here. That people value my opinion. That people actually care about me. I just want love. In everyway. Why is that so hard?
I guess I’m just pathetic. I have no one and evidently drive people away. Why won’t people love me? What do I do wrong?? Besides when I make mistakes? Am I just a total mistake? A screwup? Why won’t people stay??? I’m always on my own. I don’t want to be forever alone. I want to have someone to share life with.
So here I sit considering killing myself again. Â Even with the “New Start” Â I got with my New School.