I suddenly went back to square…. -100. My throat is pulsating of pain and everytime I swallow it feels like acid running down to my stomach. My breath is heavy and I’m aware of every heartbeat.
A few moths ago I visited a psychic in the US (I’m from Europe) and she said that I am cursed and I’m never going to get well from my depression. I cried the rest of the trip. Some weeks ago I visited Greece. A random older lady came and took my hand and started coughing. She told my bf I have the devil inside of me. This I found out only a few days ago (my bf is Greek and I’m not) and since then I felt 10 times worse. My burning chest is the worst part. I am convinced that this is true and that the devil will drag me to suicide soon.
I don’t know what to do. I do not wanna live. I do not want to die and make my family miserable. I have both work and school but all I want to do is sleep for a few days. not have any resposibilities for a while. I am exhausted because the devil won’t let me sleep well. I am not a stupid girl. I know I should go to an institution for a while, but they do not allow dogs and I can’t go anywhere without him. Just have someone to talk to but the therapists I have been talking to only says “there is no such this as the devil!” laughs and starts to talk about something else….. My bf is calling me stupid and rediculous. He does not even want to hear me out.
The acid is killing me alive. I am afraid of hell. I have not done anything wrong…
7 comments
Don’t let what other people say and think get to your head. If you choose to believe them, then you’re doing exactly what they want.
Ignore the frauds, and you will have proven yourself as a stronger person.
If you believe you have not done anything wrong, then you have absolutely nothing to fear.
You cant do this, you cant do that… Or maby you wanted to say: you dont want to do that…. ? Be honest to yourself for a start!
Lots of people think and believe and say and do, quite bizarre things, and have developed very strange ways of interpreting their experiences of life in this world; some taught, some self-originated…
But there is no devil. Crazy people say such things, as if some otherworldly force is responsible for what they cannot explain, or would prefer not to feel accountable for. They get a bad feeling from you, because they have empathy, but do not understand their own gift, and both abuse and misrepresent it to others. This is particularly vile, but is unfortunately common. What is actually happening is that they are able to perceive your despair in less common ways, but through totally natural and reasonably explainable, yet somewhat less understood capabilities. They fear what they feel through their own misunderstood and limited perception of your inner workings, and so they might call it “devil” or “curse,” but in actuality, it is them putting those labels on you, erroneously, rather than actually understanding that you are simply struggling to cope with the challenges you’ve faced, with which you continue to struggle, in ways that make you feel bad… and those untrained, hack-job “mystics,” tend to miss the mark, though they are indeed picking up on something real.
There is no devil, and there is no curse. There is only the fear of a frightening fantasy which exists in your mind, which others helped put there.
The mind is very powerful .. I had a weird problem when i was younger that stemmed from social issues. I had anxiety over being in public places and embarrassing myself.. like throwing up in public or something similar. The problem was that i had struck upon an idea.. that if the placebo effect existed then the reverse must be possible. In other words, the more i thought about my issu..e… the worse i felt.
It centered around abdominal pain and once i was in public… invariably i’d start thinking about embarrassment and the pain and anxiety would only get worse. My friends got used to me randomly leaving whenever i went out.. all because a thought would cross my mind.. i’d think myself into pain and discomfort.
Sorry if this is a bit incoherent.. the point was you can make yourself sick. The logic behind it doesn’t have to make sense.
It is quite common for “psychics” to tell you that you are cursed in hopes that you will give them more money for so called, “cures”.
I don’t believe in curses, however, there was a time I did believe that I was cursed. Not because anyone told me, but it was my attempt to rationale what it was that I was feeling and experiencing. If it was me trying to cure you of your curse I would say, “Do three unselfish acts for strangers, or, whomever comes across your path.”
As far as the devil inside me, I’ve felt that way, and I do believe or at least am questioning evil and what exactly evil is and what it can do. You could go to church and seek there help, but really… the thing that helps me and breaks any curse or evil spell is my dog.
Focus on the love you have for you dog. The bond you share with your dog. It’s the only thing that saves me sometimes. I would leave to, but I can’t because of my dog. 🙁
1. Roak’s right: just as the placebo effect can heal, it can also harm… to an extent.
2. QTR’s right: at times we are tempted to believe rather strange things, because we can’t quite make sense of what is happening, or see any justification for certain events… but dogs are special. I know that seems like a non sequitur. lol. I’m pretty sure i’d either be very evil, or very dead, if not for my dog.
The fact that the psychic you went to told you that your depression would never go away doesn’t surprise me. I believe that more than likely I’ll be chronically depressed till the day I die. I’m used to it, and as long as it’s mainly mild depression, I can handle it. I know that there will be days when the depression will start to worsen and become moderate to severe, but that’s one of the struggles I have to deal with in life. Life ain’t fair.