I constantly have this feeling that something is going to go wrong. I mean things are already shitty but it feels like my heart is going to explode because I’m so worried. Like what the fuck? I go from feeling extremely numb to being a paranoid. Screw life and its fucked up emotional games, I think I just need to get high or something.
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severe anxiety.
Mine began when my wife left me.
You will need meds from a doc for it.
Paranoia is internalized fear, that is, fear as a modus operandi. Doubting everything, avoiding, sceptical. Of course it drives you crazy. What trust is possible, if you are afraid of everything.
It therefore becomes imperative to find someone with whom you can be honest and candid. Typically a shrink, or counselor, or advisor, or minister. Somebody with whom you can cut through the bullshit and who can and will help you cut through the bullshit.
Meds? Yeah, maybe for while. It depends. But person to person help is invaluable, especially at this stage of things.
Bon chance.
G.W.