this is my temperary home

last night was the worst of many. i not only lost my family and home but i broke  a promise i thought i never would. last night me and my mum had a really big arguement over my birthday. its in 9 days and im turing 17 and all i wanted was to spend time with my family and do what i want to do as its the 1 day of the year i get unlimated attention for the right reasons. mum wanted to be selfish and make the day about her so we both got angry. she yelled and threatened me and i pulled her against the wall and hit her. police were involved and i was arrested and taken to a psyco ward for teenage girls. i self harmed before the police came which made my situation worst. now today i was faced with the pain of telling my bf that im not at home and im back to self harming and thinking suicidal thoughts. i couldnt bare it. knowing he is disappointed that i broke a promisehurt me more then the cuts ever would. i feel like all this month i have been fucking things up…. i dont wanna be here anymore so i cant fuck anything up.