I don’t know, maybe one day this pain will be useful to me. That’s what they tell me anyways. But in reality… not all pain is useful. Not all endings are happy. Not all goodbye’s are “good”. This one certainly wasn’t. Because you’re okay. And I’m broken. And I miss you.
I need you in my life right now, but you don’t want to be here. But, I can’t blame you; I don’t want to be in my life either.
And I see you when I close my eyes. I see the sparkling of your blue eyes, I hear your laugh. I see all of the happiness that could have been mine at one point.
And you’re fine. Thats what really hurts. That you don’t even miss me. You don’t care. Did you know the effect you have on me? Did you know that it burns to see you everyday? See you laughing, see that you are totally over me, no scars left to show.
Did you know that every time we make eye contact and you look away, another piece of me dies? Did you know that I’m barely breathing, wondering how I’m still alive?
No, and I guess there’s no way for you to know. I wish you knew though. Maybe then you would be more careful of my shattered heart.
But I doubt you would. You don’t want to cut yourself on one of the broken pieces.
12 comments
Yikes.
what?
I know what its like to love and loose. To miss someone and care about them more and love them more. I can only imagine what it must feel like to have to see them everyday, I fortunately didn’t go through that. It hurts but you can’t beat yourself up about the past all your doing is wasting time. Get better make your life better one that you would want to live and be in. And if that person loves you then they will come back. if its meant to be then it will, I believe in that. I think everything happens for a reason and we don’t always see it right away. I know it hurts I cried every day for almost a year woke up crying went to sleep crying always threw up because I would get so upset and couldn’t keep food down. It can be extreme I hope that you can find a way to be ok I really do I know how tough it can be to deal with emotional pain.
You’re putting yourself through hell over someone who doesn’t care about you.
Think about it…….
i assume you are talking about a woman,,,, coz they can be shut off feelings like a switch (if they ever had them to begin with).
they can shut off
@WIG Haha, I always thought that about men. I’m not wrong either. I guess it goes for both genders.
i guess it depends on the guy. I know I cant turn off feelings like I have seen women do.
However, I feel cheating makes it a lot easier (my counselor agreed).
maybe thats coz im just a caring person.
Your counselor is just another (educated) person with an opinion, but yes, you’re right. Cheating with others, even blatantly flirting with others (meaning that one must have feelings of some sort for this person or at least find them quite attractive), certainly builds a wall between a couple. Don’t expect to become close if you engage in this type of behaviour. (I don’t mean you personally.) If I’m serious about someone I will refrain from this. If someone I am involved with does not refrain, it seems obvious that they were never serious about me and wouldn’t care if I left and got with someone else instead. Oh well. Lo que será, será.
no, i’m talking about a guy
I met someone I thought I was gonna be able to talk to. I’m trapped inside myself. Faking for people with this other me. She is just like everyone else. I wish I could end it now. I can’t. Someone needs to help me do it.