You’ll find on this site people who pride themselves over being in a “worse” situation than you….They will tell you that as if it is a badge of honor and automatically is a “co-sign” of sorts to anything they say… You’ll see many people judge others and criticize them about the reason they want to kill themselves and nothing is inherently wrong with this because sometimes we do need a different POV to maybe think about things differently but you’ll have people who will feel validated and sort of “get off” when they see someone contemplating suicide over a reason or reasons they deem to be less harsh or less miserable or logical than their own.
To be frankly honest…I don’t care if a guy or girl wants to kill themselves because they lost a dollar yes that’s petty and yes its stupid and and yes you should tell them that….but you SHOULD NOTÂ get a sense of accomplishment or superiority or any feeling that makes you feel like your reasons for suicide are more valid and thus only you should be the one contemplating suicide because “your situation is far worse and you’d trade lives with anybody because nobody can walk in your shoes”….
Now you have some people say “but my reasons ARE more valid and I DO have more reasons to kill myself because others haven’t seen the shit I have….if they could live my life they would beg for theirs” and its funny to listen to 1st world humans say this as if everybody on the planet lives in the utmost  conditions like they do…not necessarily luxurious but as far as standards for living go…even the lower income people of 1st world countries  have better conditions than 3rd world countries …but you’ll hear them speak as if NOBODY has it worse than they do and what they don’t realize is that somebody can say the same shit to them and then somebody can come along and say it to that person and then another guy comes along and says it to that guy in a never ending chain of “who has it worse” or a “pissing contest”….You have people who come here to compare lives to see who has the bigger cock of misery and once they determine they are 2in longer than the next guy they feel “good” not realizing there is a guy a few stalls down with a monster cock of misery that makes theirs look like a micro penis of misery…
My point is simply this “It is NOT a contest!”
Yes you should tell people if they have a “stupid” reason for suicide if thats your opinion and explicate  don’t just say it and refrain from using the stupid ass bullshit cliche that “other people have it worse” ummm DUH!!!! there are 7 billion people on the fucking planet! Once you open that can of worms it can keep going until we literally find the guy who in fact has it “the worst” and he could go around saying to people “others have it worse” but even still it wouldn’t matter because peoples reasons do not need to be “up-voted” by other suicidal people to give them validity ….Nobody needs your stamp of approval to off themselves!….So quit speaking to people as it this is “american suicide idol” where you are the judge and people have to tell you why they want to commit suicide for you to give them a ticket to “the bus”…
It is not a pissing contest and it doesn’t matter who has it worse….the fact is that we are all passengers on the “misery titanic” and when we hit the “iceberg of death” some of us will make it off….and others will die….there is no point in determining what “class of misery” gets onto the lifeboats because unlike the real titanic there’s enough of them for anybody who wants to survive….
36 comments
“out of sight; out of mind.”
If you don’t know what you’re missing, or if everyone in your region has similarly few advantages, then the disparity is less pronounced.
But, say, if you live miserably impoverished in a 1st world country, you are inundated with images of millionaires gallivanting around, and expectations of implausible prosperity… you feel it far more and worse than someone who is rarely, if ever, exposed to such things.
And what do we really have that’s so wonderful? And at what cost? We have a bunch of “nice things,” but look at our society. From where i sit, it doesn’t seem worth it. We would honestly be better off without all this crap, but also without the requirements to maintain it, and the expectations placed on us by others, to achieve it. Not everyone prospers in “the land of opportunity.”
I totally share your disdain for the “3rd world countries have it worse!” crowd. As if the fact that someone else is less privileged has anything at all to do with what i experience, and somehow invalidates my own torment. People like that make me want to knock their teeth out. Maybe then they will understand that people in 1st-world countries can indeed suffer greatly. Maybe a spinal injury or a disease caused by gov’t experimentation would convince them. I have to think the only reason people take such a stance is because they have never truly suffered, and therefore cannot understand it… even though they think they do, and are taught to behave condescendingly toward anyone who claims to be miserable due to factors beyond their control… which can indeed happen anywhere, in any society, at any level of technological development or material privilege.
I’ve never understood the idea that a person has to meet some kind of requirements for being suicidal, or that they’re only entitled to feel as they do if they’re the most miserable person in the world. If that logic were true, life would be much easier: we could just keep a subterranean class of people under each city and torture them day and night so that anyone who claimed to be miserable could be immediately disproved by someone pointing out that others have it worse.
@Clevername: I fucking hate when people say “others have it worse” I literally want to rip my pubic hairs out and shove them down their throat and then I could agree with them…that they do in fact “have it worse” by now having a mouth and throat full of my dirty disgusting cock hairs…. but beyond that you’ll find even among the suicidal those who want to validate themselves by telling others that “they have it worse” as if the other suicidal shouldn’t feel the way they do and its even more frustrating when it comes from people who you would think “understand” but they don’t obviously
@Scar504: LOL you know what? that isn’t such a bad idea man anybody who says “others have it worse” should automatically become a candidate for such place…but seriously man you would think there is a criteria for being miserable and suicidal the way people walk around throwing that bullshit around….it frustrates me to no end
I think there needs to be some kind of “line,” because if there’s not, then people will just throw it around like it has no value: “i broke a nail! ermagerd imunna kill maself…”
“Oh, i got an A-, imunnakillmaself!”
“Oh, i’m not the prettiest, most perfect-est personon in the whirled… imunnakillmaself!”
“This food tastes mediocre, imunnakillmaself!”
Hmm… suicide all the things?
@Clevername I propose a rating system, wherein a person’s misery will be calculated on a scale of 1 to 100 by taking a “Damn my life sucks test.” 1 is born autistic black female in North Korea; 100 is can’t find any left socks.
lol…
@Clevername: LOL I agree with you thats why I said if you feel somebody is choosing to commit suicide for a stupid reason then we should tell them that but that doesn’t mean we should talk down to them condescendingly as if they don’t have a reason to be upset….Maybe they have a genuine reason to be sad but not suicidal and some people have a hard time distinguishing the 2 and usually its some heartbroken little girl on here whining about her 14 yr old guy dumping her and now she wants to be juliet and in those cases we should explain to them why suicide is not the option they should choose….but I won’t sit there and use the silly cliche that “others have it worse” because like I said someone could come along and say that same shit to me….
I just don’t like the “comparing and contrasting” of who has it worse because I mean its not like anybody can experience life as anybody else anyways….I cannot verify that anybody else has it worse except from their perspective I cannot actually test and validate that they indeed do have it worse…some people employ hyperbole and exaggeration when detailing why they feel miserable as to convey to others that their story is much worse than it actually is…and in those cases how would you know if they are being real or just telling a real good inflated story? It just doesn’t matter that “other people have it worse” because it does NOTHING for anybody to know somebody suffers more than you….lol if thats enough to make somebody feel better they may need to go visit a shrink because obviously knowing others are suffering should not be something that makes one happier about anything…in fact you would think it backfires and makes one feel worse knowing that others are more miserable than they are
I’ve known people who do in fact take pleasure in the suffering of others. Ironically, those are often the same people who resort to the “others have it worse” bit.
I think next time i will try to remember to respond with: “well, maybe that makes YOU feel better about my problems, but it doesn’t help ME at ALL…”
I totally agree. I hate the “who is more suicidal” competition. People are taught to be competitive though, so maybe it’s not entirely their fault. Maybe if they would listen…
Shit, there i go again. Nevermind!
Schadenfreude; satisfaction or pleasure derived from seeing other people’s misfortunes.
look paininlife saying all third world peoples should die, because they have it worth than me.ironically,third world countries are the happiest peoples on earth.they don’t need to worry about their weight,they don’t need to worry about bullying(comparatively,hehe) bla…bla…. .they just love life.tell me one third world country,that has to work over time to “live” ? But, look all first world countries,most of them have to work over time, otherwise they are homeless or something.all their lives doesn’t have “soul” in it.
*the best freedom is freedom of mind*.
I don’t think that their is something wrong about saying “i have it worth than you”.because it will somehow cool you down,and rethink about your suicidal intentions.it may not work for you,or her,or him;but it will work for somebody else,who thinks that her life is over because her boy friend left her,or somebody bullyied her on facebook.just like mental institutions are not for everybody.but that doesn’t mean “mental institutions doesn’t work at all”,..they do… .
you hate peoples who said that to you,that is something else.but having a conclusion that saying this “”””cliche”””” sentences doesn’t work for everybody is a bit of ironic.
*Everybody is not the same.*
@Joinel: “look paininlife saying all third world peoples should die, because they have it worth than me” please copy and paste where I said that….
My point is that is not a competition…you can explain to somebody why their reasons for suicide may be a little off without trying to solidify your assertions with “I have it worse than you” because honestly nobody cares about you having it worse because it does nothing for their situation….go tell an amputee that another amputee has it worse because he has more limbs gone than they do…does that somehow give them the magical ability to grow the severed limb? NO!….They can still have empathy towards the other amputee without having to talk down to them as if having more limbs gone makes their position better than the other…their problems do NOT correlate in the smallest way so its a void point to say that to someone as if it will make anything they are going through better…
Most people are similarly different, and typically, similarly unique.
We are all the same… even if we’re different.
“look paininlife saying all third world peoples should die, because they have it worth than me.”
I don’t think he was actually saying that…
“ironically,third world countries are the happiest peoples on earth.they don’t need to worry about… (all that bullshit the 1st-worlders are stuck dealing with)”
Exactly! Exactly dude. There is less disparity, less exposure to all those supposedly wonderful things that “everyone else has, so why don’t you?” There is less “in your face” reason to be miserable… even if the day-in-day-out lifestyle is technically more physically demanding, even if they have less “nice things” or “fancy gadgets.” There is more room for people to be people, and less compulsion to become sociopathic monsters, hell-bent on enslaving every available person, in order to foster their own acquisition of material wealth (which happens primarily because there is no other way to accomplish creation of wealth, in this “land of opportunity”… more like “land of being exploited by resourceful opportunists”).
The best freedom is Whole freedom, not one that is only either physical or mental. But that seems to be quite a fantastical notion in this world.
that is the problem.it is not that “nobody cares about your worth situation”.it is….”i don’t care about your worth position”.it will not work for you,but it will work for the other girl i mention above.and when ever someone try to help you,it doesn’t mean he will help you.and when you try to help someone,it doesn’t means that you helped him.everybody has different perspective on life.life is not something you can say in few words.life is “7 billion times complicated”.so tell me your position to represent all this 7 billion lifes and say “nobody cares about your ‘worth’ life”.
@replie
You said that when you say “third world countries have worth than you”.
I don’t like your comparison of two “limb less” peoples.but you can definately compare a stage three cancer patient , and a man with a “benign” tumor.assume if the cancer patient survived,don’t you think that the man with the benign tumor doesn’t get any inspiration from him ? I doubt that.
@joinel: When I say “nobody cares about your worse situation” I’m not saying it to mean that nobody gives a fuck about what you are going through…I’m saying that when you try to use your situation as a “hype man” to validate your opinion nobody gives a shit!…. Like if I were to say to you right now “Man I have it worse than you because acne scars aren’t that bad” Not only am I marginalizing your situation but I am using mines to reinforce my opinion about how I feel which is stupid because its dumb to compare problems as if its a contest and it means nothing to do if my situation is indeed worse because it does nothing for your acne scars…
When I said that I mean they have worse medical facilities, worse technological equipment, Higher infant mortality and starvation rates etc etc….That is not saying “all 3rd world people should die” Like I don’t understand how got arrived at that conclusion but okay….
If he gets inspiration from that fine….if he doesn’t….do you think saying to him “hey the other guy had it worse”….do you think that will give him a sudden jolt of inspiration!? NO…he will look at you and say or think “I don’t give a shit”…because its not doing anything for him to know that the other guy had it worse when he is sitting there dying!!!
@clever
they don’t need to worry about bullying (comparatively,hehe)
I said “comparatively”.painnlife compare both “worlds” based on material,i tried to compare both worlds based on life.
i doubt that first world countries has all the freedom.as i can see from their life; it is either material and speech freedom,or mental freedom.and if you ask me ? I will definately choose mental freedom.
How come you creat a society that accepts bullying as its “moral”.everything has it’s limits,even if it is freedom.
it may not work for you, but it will work for others.just like the above two examples i give you.so….. again,you should say “i don’t care if you have it worse than me” and stop saying “nobody doesn’t care if you have it worse than them”.everybody is different ? Yes
Everybody is the same ? Yes
We have different idea’s because we are different.we love somebody’s post or comment from those “different” ideas.because we somehow understands them(so for that post,we are somehow the same).if everybody was the same then “nobody could have asked nobody about anything”.if every body was different “again,nobody could have posted anything”.why should he post something,if he is going to have an answer from “different” peoples which he didn’t understand cause of their “total” difference .
*similarity existed because their is difference and vice versa.*
saying you have it worse than others is in fact fairly meaningless and also rude. similar to people comparing battle scars, however in this instance it almost seems like trying to prove to yourself that you have the right to suicide as if others do not. everybody has a different perspective though, just as everyones pain tolerance differs. some people dont even have any particular reason for feeling suicidal, they are simply depressive.
i do have to say however hearing about other peoples misery does make me feel better when im miserable. not because i relish the thought of other people suffering, but because it makes me feel im not alone. sad people tend to not enjoy the company of happy people. sad people tend to be more willing to share their stories of pain with people they feel can maybe relate.
If you ask me, i will say that any incomplete freedom is insufficient to satisfy me. Mental freedom doesn’t matter much if you are also physically required to complete certain actions, or restricted from attempting certain actions, without those requirements producing satisfactory gains, and/or without those restricted actions being harmful to others.
Example: i can grow some plants and smoke them, all by myself, without any money ever changing hands or supporting any “terrorists” or “cartels.” I can use a vaporizer to remove the problem of carbonized particulate matter. Smoking this plant that i could grow all by myself, in such a way, would certainly make me feel “better,” even if it doesn’t make life perfect… but most importantly: it DOES NOT HARM ANYONE!
And yet, if i were to attempt to alleviate my problems, or at least reduce them, thereby increasing my enjoyment of life, and subsequently, my motivation to try harder to live it, since i would have access to something valuable that i want… i could easily be no-knock raided, have my dogs shot, family assaulted, assets seized/confiscated/forfeited, and be thrown in prison for a very long time, based on an *INVALID* and Fabricated legal “precedent.”
Tell me more about this “freedom” i supposedly have. Tell me how wonderful my american life really is.
@Joinel: Sometimes its difficult to understand you and I’m not trying to be an ass but can you please try to clarify a bit?
@missmisery: I agree but thats different than getting a sense of pleasure out of someone else having it worse….like if someone were to tell me their reasons for being depressed and I got some some sort of enjoyment out of hearing how miserable they were….that is different from being glad you have someone that can understand and relate and I am not talking about those people but rather the ones who get a “sadistic boner” off knowing others are in a worse condition
missmisery said that “it is not right to say ‘somebody has worth than you'”,but at last she said “i feel better reading others post”.and if you feel better by others problems,this clearly means that;you are comparing your life with others.you are think that “somebody has worth than you” and you feel better about it.don’t you think that,the two ideas contradict each other.
@Joinel:… “i do have to say however hearing about other peoples misery does make me feel better when im miserable. not because i relish the thought of other people suffering, but because it makes me feel im not alone. sad people tend to not enjoy the company of happy people. sad people tend to be more willing to share their stories of pain with people they feel can maybe relate.”
People often seem to think it’s wrong to express unpleasant truths, and will act as if you created them by speaking them. As if you can just not say things, and they won’t exist unless you say them. As if it didn’t exist prior to your declaration, and that when you imagined it, it then just popped into reality. lol.
I don’t know how to deal with people who think like that… so i stopped dealing with them. I will walk the fuck out of a conversation and completely stonewall someone if i see that happening. It’s honestly not worth my time, even if my time is worth nothing.
@pain
The above post is a bit of complicated,so i will understand.
what i said was …
1,don’t say “nobody” say ” ‘i’ don’t care about your worse condition,cause it won’t help me” don’t represent everyone saying “nobody cares about your worse condition”.because everybody is not like “you”.
2.the second paragraph was for clever name,about our similarity and difference.reading it slowely may help you.idk…….
English is my second language so….it may not be perfect.if i was a fully functional citisen,i should have been spoke 4 languages by now.
The only time i use this sort of a comparisson is with past me and a potential future me
I have it worse then past me , i probably have it better then a potential future me
However , the “misery” level remained pretty much constant from past me to current me even though objectively speaking i do have it worse then past me
does that make sense?
@Joinel: it wasn’t “complicated” it was just kind of incoherent
@Xeronn: Yes and I can understand that because that’s dealing with yourself and only you and well….who knows you better than yourself?
what is the unpleasant truth here ?
I don’t see any,…….for me or for somebody else.
To conclude it;comments like “somebody has worth than somebody”,can help somebody.
It doesn’t help everybody,but it can help somebody.this is the real truth.if it is the “unpleasant” one for someone ? Then it is.
@missmisery
On your first post you clearly said “reading others posts” not my own “past” posts.but remember your past is somebody’s present.so you are comparing yourself to your past,means that your are comparing yourself with somebody’s present.and in both ways you are comparing “worse” situations.whether it is your past or somebody’s present…..yeah! Still you are “comparing worth situations”.and thank you for being my example.lol
@PainNlife and noone else has or should have any say in the decission to commit suicide or not
Personally , i think the subjective experience of “misery” is the result of an equation that factors in expectations from life and objective conditions of life amongst other things. In that sense , the conditions of life can get worse , but if the expectations from life are allso lowered , the resulting experience of misery could remain sort-of the same. If however the conditions of life remain the same and the expectations get lowered, then the experience of misery should be less ..this is actually the method most people seem to recomend for avoiding suicide…just lower the expectations , learn to live with the conditions…but, again , personally i feel that lowering the expectations from life is in it`s self a sort of suicide , just that instead of killing your body you kill your hopes and dreams
how is explaining “everybody is different” and “don’t speak like,every body is the same”, can be interpreted as incoherent ? And when i say ‘complicated’ i didn’t mean ‘sophisticated’ .and….yeah, as i can see it…..it is complicated.but it is not for you,it was for clever name.i should have included “@clevername” or something.
@ joinel
are…you somehow referencing my post i that mess of a terribly hard to comprehend post there?
@xeron
Sorry dude,it is not for you.i am not reading your comment,i don’t know why.
sigh…
@ joinel: are you calling me a hypocrite? youre supposedly quoting me without even using my own words. i dont know if youre asking for clarification or simply trying to start shit. i did not declare my situation worse than anybody elses. comparing your situation to somebody elses does not necessarily mean you are claiming yours is worse. i never said i get a sense of pleasure of other peoples pain, i get a sense that i am not alone in my pain.
What i don’t think is being said, is that sometimes, correctly stating “my situation is worse,” is not intended to be a contest. It’s not intended to “one-up” anyone. It’s just true, sometimes. It doesn’t always mean the person claiming the worse situation is diminishing or minimizing or trivializing someone else, just because someone else isn’t in an equal or worse situation…
But sometimes, severity is actually relevant. If someone in a much better situation tells me “oh, you’re just being negative, there’s plenty to live for!” I will be forced to correct them, and i have no better choice than to think that their inaccurate assumptions are linked to their never having experienced the increased severity of my own situation… so i will say “but you’ve never experienced something this bad, so you can’t understand.”
Sometimes, people freak out over relatively minor things, or relatively tame, but still difficult circumstances. No one should be killing themselves over something so easily dismissed or managed. The point is that some people *cannot* adequately manage their situations, and literally have no better option, and are tired of suffering an incopable life.
Sure, everyone “has the right” to commit suicide for whatever reason they, themselves, feel is adequate… but if i see someone with far less or far less severe problems, going apeshit over something incredibly minor, likewise, no one is really in any position to declare that i’m not allowed to form a negative opinion of that person, based on the weakness i perceive in them, due to such a disproportionately severe overreaction to something so seemingly trivial.
If your reason seems trivial or ridiculous to me, i’ll probably say so. Don’t like it? Too fucking bad. If you don’t want people “judging you,” then don’t say anything. Accepting that other people think what they think, for the reasons acting as the basis for their cognition, due to their own experiences and lessons, even if they’re infuriatingly wrong, is an inevitable part of life. This is one of the main reasons i keep insisting to people that they should stop putting so much value on what people think of them, especially what total strangers in cyberspace might say.
You have to learn to think for yourself, or you’re going to be controlled by the expectations imposed upon you by those with whom you associate. Few of us enjoy such things, so learn to not give a fuck about anyone’s opinion but your own, unless you have determined that any specific individual’s opinion is actually valuable to you, for whatever reasons might make you think that.
Usually, the only reason i care about anyone’s opinion, is because their opinions motivate their actions, and their actions affect my environment, because we all live on the same planet. So if someone is stupid, that affects me, and i don’t like being plagued by the effects of stupidity, especially when it’s based on false beliefs. If someone wants to be stupid because of something that’s actually true… i guess i would have less of a problem with that. At least then, you can attempt to reason with them, since they have necessarily accepted reality, prior to reacting negatively to it.