I’m so tired of feeling the way I do. I’m tired of having to be strong and smile, acting like I’m perfectly fine. I’m so TIRED of it. Nothing great has ever happened in my life except tragedy and the last one i experienced has completely pushed me to my breaking point. No therapy helps and I refuse to tell my mother how I feel because she doesn’t understand what I have been through. No one does, but I’m on here only to prevent myself from trying to kill myself. I don’t think any of you actually care, you don’t know me or what I’ve been through. I’ll just another tragic sad soul to you. I hate telling what happened to me because all i ever get is pity and I HATE pity. I just want someone to understand, take my hand and make me FEEL better. Take away the sorry, the hurt, the pain, the thoughts, and make me feel important. I feel useless to everyone, I feel like a mess up. I play college basketball but what’s the big deal? It’s a community college. All I want to do is slowly slip away and be forgotten. Life would be a THOUSAND times better for everyone around me if I would just disappear. Half of them wouldn’t even care.
I’ve lost my best friend ( my dad ), I was hated in high school for being a star athlete and a model. In college i get away to experience better things and I get raped. I’m SICK AND TIRED of things happening to me. They make me feel worthless every moment of every day.
Rant over
7 comments
I care. Someone always cares.
No one actually cares. No one ever has
Ha ha. Been looking for that my whole life. Someone, just one god damn person, who just sees me and understands me and truly cares. Someone that I can actually trust and open up to and connect with on a real level. I thought if I was lucky enough to have someone like that come into my life that it would just change everything for me.
Never happened, of course. Not even close.
I’ve kind of given up on that line of thinking and dismissed it as just a fantasy now.
I doubt I’ll ever experience true love like that, and I don’t even really entertain the thought of it anymore.
I’m sorry for your pain, but considering how unsuccessful I have been with trying to make my own pain stop, there’s not much I can do to help besides offering some of my thoughts…. for whatever they’re worth.
Hey people do care. I care and I am so sorry to hear that. I know that me saying that probably doesn’t help much. If I could I’d just make all the bad things in the world go away. I understand you hate pity, but last time I checked feeling pity means feeling sorry so umm…yeah. But I think the word has wrong negative attention to it.
You’re not just another tragic soul. I think we are all pretty tragic in this world we live in. You are great person. I mean hey star athlete and model? That’s like many people would dream of. People don’t hate you for that either. They are just…jealous? But they aren’t really. They care but they just don’t know how to show it or they care too much? Humans are pretty hard to understand sometimes.
Hmm but you are not worthless. Definitely more worth than that
Hmm what’s the difference by the way? To care and to actually care? I thought it was just about caring. Actually caring makes me confused. We could like actually add seriously caring and really caring there. But okay. Me and my sarcasm will go somewhere else.
I do care though. I think otherwise if I actually didn’t care, I wouldn’t post the things I post.
I’d still add something, telling that it gets better and how awesome you are but you need to believe in that yourself. You only, can pull yourself from any situation you are dealing with. People care but they can just be there nothing more
People want to spend their time and energy into pursuits they feel will achieve desired results, or worthy rewards.
Time and energy are limited. No one wants to pursue something they don’t want, or something that isn’t going to result in what they want. So we develop heuristics to help us identify potentially gainful pursuits, as early and reliably as possible. Many people’s experiences are precluded in such ways, but it also saves quite a lot of time and grief, for the person consciously choosing what they will or won’t do with their time and energy.
Caring about someone who will not give you what you want, can be devastatingly disastrous. It’s understandable that people are apprehensive and selective, regarding those with whom they choose to spend their time and energy.
It can be… difficult, to find someone who wants what you already are, instead of someone who wants what you could perhaps someday become.