Like the title said, I almost done it.
It’s very, very frustrating after 3/4 of the year I didn’t need any help, and now I’m here again.
It’s like over and over again.
So here’s my story!
One day I went home and saw that nobody is home. I thought nobody would be home for another 2 to 3 hours, so like always depression hit me on the right time. All I know I went to my room took my blade and just cut 1 long line from my upper part of my arm, so from my wrist to the middle. First it was painful just a sting, but then I just sat there and watched how the blood was gushing out. It was rapidly gushing so I thought I would probably die. I lost a lot of blood and felt very dizzy, a few seconds past and I broke down.
I woke up in my puddle of blood and just couldn’t believe I still lived. Automatically I stood up, like a robot, went to the bathroom cleaned my wound and took a lot of toilet paper to clean my room. As I finished I woke up. So I don’t know if I really cut or something because I was laying on the same spot like I fell before. Everything was clean, but I still had a wound.
So please help me understand, maybe I sleepwalked, that’s the only reasonable thing I could think of.
I just thank God every day.