I called him up. After all these years of perseverating on our conflict and ego battle; after all that time and our last interaction that ended with him chasing me down his dust covered street with an axe in hand, he still wanted to see me heal. It was all love and he broke down in tears telling me that he was hoping we reconnected. After all this time he still thought of me favorably and held me in high regard. Our conversation eventually turned to working together again on my subconscious mind and chakra healing; the idea of having an ally in my corner was a comforting reality considering all of the evolution of my identity and mind. Considering the immense opposition every single day just to simply live; I welcomed the idea of a shamanic alliance. Indeed, I found a slight reprieve in his shamanic energy and her supportive messages. I never knew I was this strong. I knew I was tough but to withstand the darker forces of evil and maliciously parasitic entities of life at this level every day? I was impressed and proud to have reinvented myself from near death so many times. I am still very much alive.
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
2 comments
Yes you are alive, and that’s more than enough strength on its own. To decide to live in this hellscape life alongside the different demos we face…and by facing yours you are immense, keep fighing, I don’t know who you are …but I’m proud of you.
I appreciate that man. You sound infinitely chill and I do appreciate the kind words my friend. I am proud. I’m proud that I can withstand not only my own mindf*ck but the evil’s of humanity and the weight of life. I am still thinking on death almost every day but I keep pushing through the inordinate pain and grieving the parts of me that have died. Fuck, you’re right man, it is immense. I am alive, and so are you! So are you! While we live we can still affect change. I’m proud of you too homie, you’re encouraging random people on a suicide forum—you got a heart of gold. Keep on keepin’ on.