The thought lingers in my head often, more than it probably should actually. The thought of leaving and never coming back. As I am sure many of you on this forum feel the suicidal thoughts almost daily, like a ritual.
Just know you are never alone. I know almost everyone says this, these people also say “Everything is fine†and  “It’s just a phaseâ€. These people are the ones who don’t know whats its like, to be like us. But I know, from personal suicidal experience that still goes on to this day, for some it is not a phase and it is most certainly not fine.
But you, yes you, the reader of this post, are not alone. I am going through some of the same things as you and I love you. I know that may sound idiotic, a random human on the planet, who has no idea what I’ve done or even my own name, loves me. But its true, I love you because you have pushed through so much and  you are reading this now. This means you are still alive somewhere. I know you may not wish you were alive but I am glad you are. Good luck friend, and may your thoughts be lifted someday.
11 comments
Your remind me of my good side… I personally appreciate your post.
No problem. Have a nice night : )
Can you be my friend?
Totally : ) Feel free to email me at gamingskeeter@gmail.com anytime
Finally, someone who understands that it’s not a phase, hah. That’s why I don’t want to tell anyone that I’m suicidal, because they’d either tell me that, judge me in thinking my life couldn’t possibly be so bad, and/or send me to a mental institution.
And then there’s the whole “Life goes on” sentiment. Just wondering, but what could possibly be so appealing about that? I had a friend tell me that’s what he loves about life, that it goes on. If anything, that’s what I hate about it.
Yeah I have that same issue when it came to family and my thoughts. They said I was seeking attention, which made it worse oddly enough. I also kind of don’t see the appeal in the ‘Life goes on’ thing. Because for people like us, we don’t see life in that perspective, so I think it’s hard for us to see life going on because we constantly think of ending it. We think life was made to be ended, at least that’s my view.
Exactly. And a few months ago, when I spilled the beans about my sadness to a friend, (though I didn’t reveal the extent of it) she naively stated that it’s due to winter. “Oh, even I get depressed during the winter. You’ll be fine.” That genuinely pisses me off.
Yeah thats just like my best friend, but she knew extent of it. She just keeps saying that everyone gets sad sometimes but this has been going on for 3 years now. And I don’t really know many people who understand what its like to be like this. Thank you for understanding.
You can do some real good with helping people here… I already feel better. Thank you.
Your post makes me feel alive 🙂 Thanks.
No problem 🙂