I usto wonder why the old members left while i stayed, now i know. There is only so much you can get from here. I usto think they would stay in touch,, now i know they don’t. I usto wonder what it was like to be discarded so completely, now i know. I usto wonder if i could get what i wanted in life, now i know i cant. I usto wonder why i am like i am, now i know im what normal people compare themselves to when they want to feel better. I usto wonder why im alive, now i know because i could swim faster than millions of others, if id known the prizes, id have taken my time. I usto wonder if ignorance is bliss, now i know that it is, just a pitty it went so fast.
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hey man im still around every now and again. Hope you’re doing alright.
@killswitchon i was beginning to believe that you were dead, in glad you are not. IM ok, im just tired of everyone leaving my support system of sorts.
“i know im what normal people compare themselves to when they want to feel better.” – Yeah, that’s me too. I never like talking to extended family members because I feel that they are judging me (my cousins are all successful and doing well), but then over the holidays I was talking to one of my uncles. He’s a really nice guy, a bachelor, never married, lives alone. (He’s in his mid-forties.) Some people might judge him for being alone (he’s rarely had girlfriends that I know of), but when I was talking to him he didn’t sound depressed, he has hopes and dreams and wants to go on adventures and travel the world. He also wants to get a wintertime place in Florida.
And he didn’t sound judgmental of me either, he said that I have plenty of time to figure out a career and all. It was really refreshing to talk to a relation who actually gets what I’m going through. I mean, I didn’t talk about having felt suicidal of course, but I guess it just kind of makes a difference when someone I’ve known my whole life whom I respect doesn’t think I’m a total fuck-up (even though I obviously am). Maybe it’s just because he’s a nice person and he understands solitude. Idk. Anyway, hang in there Procel. You’re young yet, you shouldn’t give up all hope.
By the way, if you need someone to talk to, feel free to send me an email.
By the way, if you need someone to talk to, feel free to send me an email.
@persephone, he sounds like a great guy, and he is right you do have plenty of time to figure ur way in life, i guess we all do, it just sucks when uve a scientist and a teacher as brothers, funny how alike depressed people are hu?
Thanks, P. i take it the same email address u regestered on the sight with is real?
your way in life is happening while you’re figuring it out. One day you look back and realize that trying to figure out your path, is one of the most significant contributors to creating your path.
Whatever you’re doing RIGHT NOW, is the step after the last, before the next, and has a high degree of impact on where your next steps lead, while being heavily influenced by all steps prior.
The amount of steps remaining is always decreasing while you’re figuring out what to do with the rest of them… or whether to take any further steps at all… or analyzing all the previous ones.
Improvising in the middle of the mission is hard.
Hi Procel – yes, you can reach me at that address.