the reason I can bring myself to post on SP from time to time is because it feels the most like talking to a wall. there’s still that voice in my head telling me I’m going to be hated for doing it, telling me about how bad people will treat me if they see how weak I am.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not the kind of guy who’s silently locked up in his corner, I talk to people. But I never tell them anything real, everything I say is a load of filler and if I do say something meaningfull, it’s never about me.
I’m not a people person and I like this wall, it’s the nicest wall I’ve ever had.
4 comments
I discovered this place today, it looks pretty welcoming. I feel you, though, I’m not a people person at all. The few people I do have contact with I would never dream of telling them I’m suicidal. I’ve made hints at my doctor, but never dropped the bomb.
Places like this are great to just let it out, get it off your chest
I’d say welcome to SP! I hope you find a safe haven in this place, like you said it does feel like the only place I can really let loose my darker side, I did tell a friend I’m suicidal again yesterday though .. in my defence, I was really drunk :/ he’s cool with it though, guess I’m lucky..
Telling someone I want to kill myself would take too high a toll on me emotionally I think. I have told people that I don’t think that I have anything to live for and that I feel like I’d be better off dead, but is that the same as saying I intend to commit suicide? Maybe it’s just a matter of semantics, but I feel like it’s a safer way to expose that I’m feeling bad without saying that I’m going to hurt myself. I’m probably deluding myself on that, huh?
@malifax sounds alright
@ravanys I came in like a wreeecking baaall. I implanted a new voice, enjoy.