Its what we all seek ultimately whether we want it or not, is it not true? We search this world for someone who understands us who can accept us and love us, thats the dream. To mean something to someone, at least based on my perspective how can I mean anything to myself if I mean nothing to no one? When I was younger I always wanted love I mean I never truly had it I was drunk on the idea of love and in my mind love was the only thing that could heal my brokenness. I found love, it was amazing truly and I lost it and it nearly took me with it but some how I survived it. But only to find it again and have it ripped away yet again and this time I just wanna run away, I don’t ever wish to know love again. I don’t want friends I don’t want anything from life other than to cease living it. They say that it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all, I disagree I’d rather never have known love because its  loss is truly painful. I feel like a slave and my emotions have condemned me to a lifetime of pain. A wise man once said that sometimes it is harder to deprive oneself of a pain than of a pleasure and I could not agree more. So here I am flipping through the different methods in my mind trying to figure out how and when it will all happen. In the mean time I drink till the pain is numb and inhale the toxic chemicals from my cigarettes.
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I don’t think that’s the case for everyone, but for some it surely is. For me, it’s all about new experiences – whether that includes love or not is circumstantial. I think I have a weird perspective, though.
@lorax deep down we all do will all crave some type of love whether its a significant other or a relative or even a friend. On whatever level some type of love and care is ultimately desired at some point during everyones life. Thats just how we are as humans it is inevitable, we can deny that we want any of these things but yet deep down we crave it. I don’t think that is weird at all I think its acceptably in the norm.
I wouldn’t say it was inevitable. The whole asexual category in terms of sexuality is grounded in the idea of personal autonomy, in various different ways – from sexual autonomy, to relational autonomy… but the idea behind that whole wellspring of people is one of general autonomy; not needing love, per se, except in certain limited contexts (if at all). I had a lot of relationships when I was younger and chased after love, but each relationship ended and I changed as a result, so I can’t say any of them were bad, or that they ended badly, but I can say I don’t need more in the future. I’ve already learned everything I care to learn from that. I know there are others out there who wind up the same sort of way, with a similar perspective. Being self-contained isn’t a bad thing if you’re willing to embrace it.
@lorax thats my point exactly after having experienced as much as your willing to accept you no longer care to have a part in it. Ultimately all you have in the end is yourself but not the case with me. I try to change it I have for years but I can’t. What good is anything if its just for me? I could have more money than I’d know what to do with and what would it mean to me? Sure independence and all that good stuff but then what? After I have asserted my independence and accomplished what people said I never could, what do I do then? What is there to enjoy about this cruel world this piece of shit life? Because nothing means anything to me none of it matters to me.
I don’t think money and independence are the goal, or should be, but are rather a means to an end. There’s a huge amount more to life than the contemporary drudgery that everyone has to wade through – education, career, finances, economy, household maintenance/improvement… Start a garden, fall in love with the rainforests, visit Belize, explore the different vineyards and wineries and taste the different wines, talk with a howler monkey about the weather, dance with a lemur, watch an aurora blaze across the sky… there’s so much more out there than the daily content of normality. Life is a lot bigger than any box you might try to put it into.
@mrbadguy then stop taking the time to look at them or read them I’m not writing them for you so I don’t care. I don’t go commenting on your bullshit ass posts so go worry about how to get over your ex wife. Better yet go pray to your god to help you.
Bit of advice: rather than reply to stuff people post on your posts, if you don’t like it, just delete the comments and ignore ’em. You haz dat pr0wer as the post author. 🙂
@lorax yeah I get what you mean, I’ve gone hiking at some state parks by where I live. And Just being up so high and seeing how tiny everything is seeing a bigger picture. Its beautiful its truly amazing in that moment I temporarily forget just how ugly life is. But at some point I have to get back to reality I have to go through all the hell.
@alina_01 – your posts are fine and they are not taking up space. I don’t know, some people are just hateful and self absorbed.. we all are dealing with real pain here on this site.. i read what he said to you on your other post, it was mean and uncalled for, and seemed like he was taking his anger out at a total stranger. Plus, he has no respect to women. Just ignore. The people I have talked to here have been kind and compassionate.
That is reality just as much as your life is – it’s just experiencing it from a different angle. Life is where you live it and how you live it. It’s as much about perspective as it is about where you are at any given time. Squirrels really are alive, and they really are living out there every single day of their lives, just like you’re really alive and living every single day of your life. Things change naturally, and that doesn’t have to be a bad thing.
@fox thank you, I will not tolerate it and have done so. I have met many wonderful people on this site.
@lorax yes but it is a bad thing its always a bad thing there are just a few pauses in-between when it is good. But then the good fades away and bad replaces it yet again and the cycle repeats. Life is suffering, and if your one of those people that survive it that can positively thrive in spite of it then good for you, unfortunately I can not do that I don’t know how.
@alina: Nobody knows how to deal with it until they’ve been through it long enough to learn how. I think anyone can live well, but it’s not always easy figuring out how to go about it. I don’t expect anything I say will prove it to you because it’s something everyone has to find on their own, which is the annoying part about being a human being, I think.
alina_01,
I hate to say it but that is what life is all about, heartbreak, and struggling 🙁 I’m sure I’m much older than you, and I have been in several relationships that gone south, I’m a romantic myself but, the being in love concept or what is love concept? is very different from the way I feel about it and how others feel about it, I was in a dream world and I felt so strongly about love! my idea of what love is was bigger than life, you can want and desire someone to love you like you think love is, but don’t be disappointed when they don’t, love is a four letter word, yes I’m sitting here drinking just like you! I love people I feel love like no one else can, because it’s an illusion in my mind, I’d take the bullet for the one I love I’m such a fool, finally I tell you something that’s really hard to accept, you need to love yourself because your with that person 24 hrs a day, you can count on that person! forgive and forget those that return the love that you desire they don’t know what love is. the world is a stage and people are acting their parts, love is something we learn over years of time were not born with it, some people never learn. well far as wanting to end it all 🙁 I can’t say I blame you, when you realize that life is a big game you might say to yourself I don’t want to play anymore, that’s how I feel 🙁 but except what reality is and don’t wish for more, you won’t be so disappointed, you are a smart person except what life really is and think of number one that’s you!!! make yourself happy do the things you want to do and don’t depend on others to fulfill your dreams.
@ lorax I really love your comments! 🙂 but I’m a stinking American! and you hate me!!! but I like you 🙂
@lorax at this point I’m not sure I even want to know how, I just want to let it all go. I just have pessimistic out look on my life and with good enough reason. Im just tired of trying to prove to myself why I should want to live why life has value.
@ OnlyLOVEisReal I’d love to have your email 🙂 if you ever wanted to talk to me 🙂 you are a sweet person and I know that! how do I know that? top secrete! give me your email and I’ll tell you!
@rocketman1000: Dude, I’m a Yankee Doodle Dandy, myself. Haha… I just don’t like first-world culture, but I suppose that makes me a kinda yuppy or something. I don’t care! I don’t like yuppies either!
@alina_01: You shouldn’t have to prove anything. Life has the value you give it. If you spent months making a work of art, and when you showed your art to people, they said it was ugly and not fit for display, would it have any less value to you? There was this guy named Harlan Hubbard who lived on a house made of driftwood, and floated down the Ohio river with his wife, and he painted lots of landscapes. Nobody in his time thought they were worth a thing, but he kept painting, and today, those paintings are probably some of the most beautiful works of art you can find (and still very few people have seen or heard about them). Life is a lot like that, I think.
loved your post, you sure mean something to me after putting into words something ive thinked about for a long time… and well, your post header says it all… couldnt agree more with that, wish iwould have known earlier, i would have just continue playing videogames and working until i was an old man, lol.
@rocketman1000 thats the thing I can’t love myself I try but I can’t ever be successful at it. No one has ever truly loved me in a healthy way not my family not even my own parents. How can I love myself?!! I want to know so bad I want to love myself so much that I could just be happy alone. But I cant I hate myself so much because of all the pain I put myself through. What is there to love about someone like me? I hate myself for loving others for loving those who don’t love me because it hurts.
“all life is just a progression toward and then a recession from one phrase i love you”
It’s really all about that, isn’t it. I agree. Though, I still hope the recession part isn’t necessary.
I like to read your posts and I think many here do, so please don’t care about what WIG said.
@lorax I dont care what anyone says or thinks about me, i learned that early on. I know what I am capable of and I’m sure that I can have plenty of people in disbelief for accomplishing what they said I couldn’t and then some. But ultimately my “art” my life it has no value to me, I mean nothing to myself.
@keief glad that you agree with it its how I feel its sad its heartbreaking.
@elcyc thank you, up until recently I didn’t want to believe in the recession part. But events in my life have brought it to my attention and it is very true. It breaks my heart but its reality to me now and i’m tired of the cycle im tired of the pain.
alina_01,
your breaking my heart!! bringing tears to my eyes!!! I’m such a good person and I feel like you do! I wish I could tell you how? all I can tell you is, the less you think about the illusion of love the better!!! I have a hard time myself! I hum love songs all day long and I sing love songs! I’m a singer for real! now I sing at home by my self 🙂 feeling so strongly about what I’m singing it makes me feel sad and good? but to answer your question isn’t easy 🙁 you really have to think of yourself , I sing about love that helps fill the void in a way, but really come to terms that you are special! you feel more than others, you are a rare breed! be proud that you are forget those that are not, and accept the fact that it’s going to be hard to find a very loving and special person like yourself! you are one in a million so………………………… your stuck 🙁 the odds of winning the lottery are better than finding a person that is like you!!! you are one of a kind be proud of that! and feel good when you pull the sheets over your toes at night because you are the real article!!!!
@lorax so are you telling me that there’s a chance of us being friends? I expected a wooden shoe to come wising by my head!!!
@rocketman1000 I know I’m one of the few one of the rare that truly loves that cares. I love with every ounce of my being and I care more than anyone has ever loved or cared about me. And what good is it?! I hate myself because of that because I can never truly let go, I don’t know if you’ve ever had the pleasure of reading the book the great gatsby by fitzgerald or even seen the movie? But I’m Jay Gatsby thats me almost to a T only he got to die believing a lie. He died thinking that the woman he loved was calling him that she loved him. But she didn’t she never called him she left and he died for her she didn’t even blink an eye she just left like nothing. I on the other hand I will die knowing the truth and I wish I would have died before so that I would never have realized such a painful thing.
alina_01,
aww! yes the old tourchered soul! I know it to well 🙁 you will never get rid of it like a monkey on your back constantly fucking with you! and yes one day you will die knowing the truth 🙁 me too! but knowing the truth is the first step of dealing with it, like an alcoholic going to AA meetings, except your drunk on love! well I’m not a brain surgeon I’m just a rocketman burning up his fuse alone ha ha! but it’s helps if you accept it is what it is and move on and stop dwelling about it , take up something else to think about, save kittens, pass out candy, get involved in politics like lorax!! 🙂 that’s her passion! it gives your mind a break from suffering constantly, write love stories! I don’t know? but it does help to think of other things they preoccupies your thinking and time.
@lorax sorry if you disapprove of me using you for an example 🙂 but what would you expect from a first world pig such as myself! ha ha!
I have a dongle! A male, am I, I say! 😮
Do I really come across as a chick? I might have to start beefing up my replies.
Ug not woman. Ug like hit woman over head with club. Take back to cave. Ug.
lorax,
sorry I just came back on SP and trying to make new friends 🙂 how I’m I doing? ha ha! well you come across as a person pissed with the system could be a man or lady, but when you said you’d throw a shoe at someone I assumed you were a girl 🙂 sorry about that! I like your comments, for give me please.:(
You are forgiven – I mean, your nickname is the title of an awesome song! How could I be mad? 😀 …and ty. lol