 I know my mother doesn’t have any interest in me at all. I can leave the house for hours without telling her and she doesn’t even notice. It’s lonely here. Everyone wants their mother to love them the way a conventional mother does. For some reason unknown to me she won’t. So I assume it’s because she doesn’t like my face, the way I talk or anything negative I can find in my me. I’m starting to believe maybe I don’t deserve to be loved by anyone. The only person who I know for sure loves me, is my grandfather. unfortunately he is in the later stages of Alzheimer’s. He can’t speak or move much anymore. Sometimes his eyes look as empty as I feel everyday. He spends his days in a nursing home now. Most days I want to just fade to nothing. I started to cut myself again. I had stopped for awhile. Smoking weed has become a habitual part of my life. I talk to a therapist once or twice a month. She’s nice but when I leave her office reality sets back in. Everyone is cold in this family. Sometimes I can keep my depression from becoming too overwhelming but not today. Does anyone else feel as empty as I do right now?
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
5 comments
I feel unhappy and unfulfilled in my life. This is not where I expected to be. This world isn’t what I expected. Everyday I feel empty, I feel unlovable. I feel as if nobody cares.
You’re not alone in this. Many people feel just like you do – those normal, everyday people you see that seem perfectly happy? Many of them feel exactly like you do, but you don’t notice, do you?
Family… You’re always lied to by society that families are perfect. Your friends families always seem to be amazing and when you go around there you begin to hate yours even more.
I’m the middle child, and I have 3 other half brothers. I know what it feels like to be forgotten, but I’m used as a baby sitter as well…
As for losing someone who you feel actually loves you, if there is such a thing, I’ve felt that too, although I was 7 when my Nana passed away.
Mothers are meant to love and care, yet mine never seems to notice me either… Sometimes I feel like I could run away and she would forget about me within a week.
I hate this empty feeling; I just want it to go away. The cuts get deeper the lonelier I get and I know that one day the feeling will go away… and I’ll be going with it.
sometimes I do notice someone in pain when i’m not completely consumed by my own. With the little strength I have, I try to reach out. I’ve always been that kind of person. But no one has really done that for me. I’m not unrealistic when it comes to what relationships between people are like. I know no one is perfect and that there will always be a disappointing factor in everyone. But i want to feel that connection to someone. I want someone to reach out to me. I want someone to see me and have mercy for a change. With the number of people in pain in this world, you would hope some how they could find each other. But life doesn’t work out that way, at least not mine. thank you for commenting.
I completely understand. I feel the same way – I’m just looking for somebody to reach out to me, for a change… to give me a break, and care for me instead of looking down on me. Everyone feels this at times. If this world wasn’t so superficial, maybe we’d be better at spotting these things within others.
Yes, it’s the same here. Hug