All I know is that this pain is too much.
I look into my own eyes and see nothing,
I know this will hurt many people..but it’s never gotten any better.
I’m tired of waiting and hoping.
I don’t want to hurt those I leave behind, but should I allow myself to keep suffering?
5 comments
I feel like you do as well. The pain and suffering everyday, and hoping something will just give in, just this once, just enough to put you on the right track again. And you loose hope that anything will change and you want to die. But you don’t want your family to be hurt by what you’ve done so you start to wish that you die by accident or something happened that wasn’t your fault. Or you just wish that you where never born in the first place. Then nobody would have known you and you wouldn’t have to feel pain in the first place and you wouldn’t be able to hurt the ones you leave behind.
It just sucks, these feelings we feel. The last time i threw my hands up in desperation was this morning cause I don’t know anymore either. Sorry if I’m hawking your post. Just want you to feel there is someone you feels a bit like you do.
The real question is “do you wanna keep suffering?” and “how can you make the suffer stop ?” Is dying the only way to make it stop ? Can you be sure that you’ll suffer less when you’re dead ?
Sometimes we need to take a break from our own life perceptions and try to do the right things to improved, even if we think we can’t ever be saved. When you see “happy” people, don’t assume they never got as low as were are, here. Just assume they found solutions to get better, they decided to trust what other people say.
I feel a lot like you do now, but sometimes, we can’t help ourselves, so we need to take distance from what we believe in, and start believing in what people around us say. If you do this and then fail again, at least, you would have tried.
Where ever you go, there you are.
You can’t just “take a break from your own life perceptions.”
In my experience, it’s usually best to NOT listen to “other people.” Most people aren’t YOU, and will have no way of accurately assessing your circumstances, enough to provide useful ideas that haven’t already occurred to you. Most people will tell you things that either aren’t right, or won’t work… because they’re not /you/, and they either can’t understand, or won’t.
The only important questions are:
have you seen all potentially available options?
is there anything you still want to do?
can/will/should you do it?
You’re the only one who has to live with yourself; do whatever makes the best and most of that. Only “listen to others” when it serves a useful purpose.
Sometimes when you’re at war against yourself, yes you gotta stop agreeing with only yourself. For a lot of people, the worst enemy is often in our head, and to fight it, sometimes we need others.
thts when people ask the question who do you love more? ur loved ones? or yourself?